


Lamette

by Arwen88



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not Related, M/M, Secret Crush, secretly an Omega
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-03-11 07:22:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13519299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arwen88/pseuds/Arwen88
Summary: Loki and Thor are sons of rival business men. They become friends at an event and develop a crush on each other. Loki though is faking being an alpha under his father's request, and even if Thor finds out he promises not to tell his secret.





	1. Enters the Fool of Fate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yuppu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuppu/gifts).



> Written for the CowT and the Maritombola of LDF. Proofread by Yuppu because english is not my first language. First attempt with this ship.  
> "Lamette" is a song by Donatella Rettore.

Loki walked out of the busy ballroom where the gala his father had been invited to was unfolding and finally he was able to take a deep breath. The night air was pleasantly chilly against his flushed face and for the umpteenth time he asked himself how those people could stand being dressed to the nines at such a hot temperature. He was well aware that the strange ones were probably him and his father in there, since they were used to the the life in Alaska and the others were probably used to New York or even Los Angeles and needed a room that warmed up a lot in winter.  
Still he took the chance to stand outside and cool down for a bit with not so much of a pang of regret. His father had brought him there because he had already told the media that he wanted to show off his son and future heir of the company, but Loki was well aware that his father would have taken anyone else at all instead of him. The company had to be ruled by an alpha, like his father and his grandfather before him, but test's result had arrived just that week and the truth was that Loki, only heir of their family, was unmistakably omega. His father had gone crazy at finding out his nature, shouting that it wasn't possible, that it was a shame to their family and the end for their company. There was nothing Loki could do but stay silent as his father shouted and kept insulting him, talking about him as if he wasn't even in the room. Still, the man had promised the media he would have presented them the heir to his company and he had no intention to go back on his word. Not even if to not "lose his face" the only solution he found was to ask Loki to swear to never reveal he wasn't an alpha. All future problems would have been settled in the future, he said. Loki swallowed down his complaints over the matter and agreed to not reveal himself, no matter how even at this young age he fully understood it was a sure way to never find a partner for life. Laufey took him to the gala as if nothing ever happened and presented Loki, heir of his business empire, as the next alpha of his family, and the teenager rolled with it, lying and smiling while doing so.  
Still, he retreated outside the room as soon as possible, trying to catch a breath, trying to find his balance after being thrown in the middle of a bunch of rich people that wanted nothing more than find some weak spot in him that could be exploited when in the future they would have had to deal with him instead of his father.  
He was trying to calculate how long he could stay far from the scenes before his father was to take notice of his absence when the door slid open once again but instead of the man he was expecting to see, it was another boy to get out the room and onto the balcony.

Thor looked at him with the same surprise that was written on Loki's face and let a smile spread on his lips as he walked straight towards him.  
"Can't believe someone finally took a boy my age here. It's so boring usually, am I right?"  
Loki wasn't used to being talked to in such an open way but somehow found himself reciprocating his smile.  
"I wouldn't know, this is the first time I come to one of these occasions." He admitted.  
Thor nodded, looking perfectly relaxed as he hold out a hand. "I'm Thor." He presented himself.  
"Loki." The other boy murmured with a soft smile, shaking his hand even if the gesture seemed forced once it wasn't with some old bat but with a guy his own age.  
Thor leaned against the railing with his elbows, watching the city under them, awake even at night. "This place is crazy beautiful, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else." He said, even if it sounded a bit as if he had just been talking to himself.  
Loki just let his gaze roam the buildings and streets and after a moment he nodded, except he inclined slightly his head. "It's a nice place. A bit too hot, maybe."  
Thor laughed, turning to look at him. "Dude, we're in winter. In New York. Where do you come from that this is hot?" He asked curious.  
"Alaska." Loki straightened a bit, nodding, expecting words about the place being deserted but for the bears. Instead Thor's eyes went wide and he seemed to brim with excitement.  
"Really? How is it to live out there? I bet you think this is hot if you're used to that. Come on, tell me, what do you do when you just go stir crazy at home?" He started firing question after question and Loki found himself speechless for a moment under the intense curiosity and sheer acceptance that radiated from the boy. He was so used to talking mostly to his father and his men and none of them seemed to have time to talk to him, so being the center of someone’s focus was quite new to him, even if not unwelcome.  
He tried to answer the questions as best as he could, even if he started to grasp at little lies to cover for what he didn't know yet. It took him some time to notice how Thor had gotten closer to him as he was listening to him raptly. Loki felt himself flush under that focus and as Thor spoke of his house and what he used to do with his friends he took the time to watch the boy closely. Loki found him to be extremely beautiful with his blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, even if he was pretty sure it was the animated smile on his face the feature able to make him stand out in a crowd. Suddenly it came to his mind the thought that maybe the reason why he found the boy so interesting and beautiful could have been their respective nature and trying not to get caught he tried to find out if the boy scented of alpha. Thor suddenly stopped talking and Loki blinked, watching the boy's smile spread even more.  
"Yes?"  
"Were you sniffing at me?" Thor asked laughing and Loki abruptly took a step back, feeling his cheeks flush.  
"No." He retorted, looking insulted.  
But Thor chose that moment to lean in himself and Loki just held his breath as Thor pushed his face almost against his neck, gently sniffing at him.  
"Well, you do smell wonderful." He murmured.  
Loki felt his face burn and didn't move, almost holding his breath to avoid inhaling the good scent the boy carried, even if he couldn't resist from admiring those features so close to him. Thor looked him in the eyes for a couple seconds, without saying anything, and then he gently pressed his lips against Loki's.  
Loki's eyes closed of their own volition and the boy took half a step closer to the boy he had met not half an hour ago. It just felt right to kiss him, to forget the rest of the world and let the boy wrap him in his arms and hold him to his chest. When Thor tried to deepen the kiss Loki parted his lips, eager to find out what came next, how good could it feel to be kissed by the blonde smiling guy that seemed to just know how to treat him right.  
He wanted to tell Thor how good he was at kissing, how he didn't want to stop, but when they broke apart he felt his brain fuzzy. Thor smiled at him and Loki ended up telling him the first thing on the tip of his tongue.  
"I love this city too." He murmured, feeling stupid right the moment after, but Thor laughed softly and kept holding him in his arms.  
"Then come here more often. I could house you. I do have a lot of space." The boy nodded.  
Loki huffed a smile at his invitation and tried to sound a bit more sure of himself. Instead of commenting on their kiss, he nodded at the door from which the lights came out of the ballroom.  
"They're gonna see us. I'm not sure my dad would be happy about it."  
Thor seemed to consider it seriously for a moment but then the smile returned. Loki expected him to ignore his complaint, but the boy slowly lead him backward against the wall without letting him go. Loki soon found himself enveloped in the shadows, his back pressed against the brick wall and the boy against his chest. He felt the heat rise inside him and he couldn't prevent a moan to escape his lips as Thor went back at kissing him. Loki wrapped his arms around the muscular shoulders of the other boy and let him take the lead in the kiss, enjoying the feeling of being wanted like that for the first time in his life. For the shortest moment, his thoughts went to the fact that he should have hidden his real nature as an omega, but he tried to push it away, telling himself that there was no way for Thor to know that he wasn't an alpha himself. There were plenty of alphas in the world and so few omegas that most alphas ended up marrying other alphas anyway. There was no reason to spoil the moment by telling the boy there was no way for them to get to something more, it wasn't like they were going to keep this up or meet again, or so he told himself.

They both lost any sense of time, lost in kissing each other, and more than half an hour went by before someone else stepped into the balcony. The sound of the opening door managed to break them apart, both looking slightly embarrassed at being so close to be found out but at the same time grinning like idiots at each other. Loki couldn't help but notice that Thor looked positively ravished and he took some pride on the fact that it had been him to be able to manage that. He also wondered if he presented the same sight. From the look his father gave him at seeing him so close to Thor and by the way the man's gaze fell right over his lips before seeming to start steaming from the ears, he had to give himself a positive answer.  
"It's time to go, grab your coat." The man ordered, watching just for a moment Thor before marching away and inside the room.  
"Shit..." Thor murmured, worried. "Is everything alright? Will he give you problems?"  
"He's always like that." Loki shrugged, but that didn't seem to quiet the other boy's worries.  
Instead Thor held out his hand and took one of Loki's. It was warm, and soft with a few callouses, but generally pleasant to the touch as Thor squeezed his hand.  
"I'll give you my number, call me if you- if you want to talk. Or to come here. I'll house you." He promised again, cracking a smile before reciting his number in the hope that Loki would remember it and maybe put it to use for real apparently.  
Loki knew he wouldn't have been able to have a relationship with the guy, not with the need to hide his identity, but Thor was nice and seemed actually interested in him and so he nodded, thinking that keeping contact with a friend could have been nice.  
Loki didn't find out who the other guy's father was until he and Laufey had reached the dressing room to pick up their coats and Laufey turned on him with fury in his face, hissing against him.  
"I took you here to present the new heir of the family company, not for you to suck faces with Odin's son. I don't want you to hear of that boy again if it's not to find some way to make that old beard lose his money." He growled before grabbing his coat and marching out.  
Loki stood still, finally understanding who exactly he had spent half his evening kissing and why his father had been so adamant in them needing to go away after seeing him busy with Thor. One moment after he felt a white rage twists his guts and against his father's orders he went to look for Thor without even really grabbing his jacket, sure that his father had gone to their car already and he wouldn't meet him again in the room. He was now suddenly sure that everything Thor had done out in the balcony was some kind of trick to make sure he would find out some weak spot just as everybody else had tried to do that evening. He saw the boy's back and made a beeline for him, going unnoticed in the crowd, but he had to stop when at few steps from him he heard Thor name him.  
"Yeah, I just met Loki. He is great in my opinion. Nothing like his father, really. I mean, I don't know the guy but he does seem a bit uptight. But Loki is great, dad, really." Just then Loki saw that the man Thor was busy talking was in fact his father's business competitor. The man was busy loading a plate from the buffet while Thor kept talking.  
"I hope we get to become friends."  
"You're the heir of my company, Thor. You can't just be friends with the heir of your enemy."  
"Loki is not an enemy, we can totally be friends, dad."  
"In the future-"  
"We'll still be friends. We don't have to be competitors if we stay friends, right?" He shrugged and his father sighed heavily, shaking his head.  
Loki kept quiet, suddenly feeling stupid for thinking Thor could have tried to trick him when the boy seemed to be so hyped talking about him.  
Thor turned and, before Loki could manage to hide behind someone and beat a retreat toward his father, the boy saw him and approached him without a moment hesitation.  
"Loki! I was just talking to my dad about you now!" He informed him with a big smile. "And I wrote my number on a napkin for you, in case you forgot it and I managed to meet you again." He huffed a smile, fishing said napkin out of his pocket and putting it into the hands of a dumbfounded Loki. "I hope we'll meet again soon."  
Loki couldn't do anything else but stare at those blue eyes and slowly nod, holding tight to that paper napkin with a number written across.  
"I'll call you." He promised without thinking before walking away in the fastest way he could manage without outright running.

Loki called Thor after all, just the morning after, the whole time fearing of passing as too clingy, but Thor seemed thrilled to hear of him and invited him at his house once again as soon as Loki told him that he would have stayed in New York for a few more days since his father was there for work. Loki debated whether breaking his father's rules for a whole two minutes before grabbing his coat and taking a cab to reach the address Thor had given him over the phone.  
Odin's house was huge, more like a palace than a house from Loki's point of view, but he stopped looking around when a muscular boy suddenly jumped on him and wrapped his arms around his torso to lift and crush Loki in a bear hug.  
"You came!"  
"Can't breathe-" Loki wheezed and took a deep breath as soon as Thor let him go with a laugh. He didn't even hear what the boy said after but suddenly Thor had taken a hold of his hand once more like the previous night and started leading him up marble stairs and to his rooms.  
"I'm so happy you came. Is your father going to stay away long? You could stay here for as long as it takes for him to go back and he wouldn't even find out!" He talked excitedly, letting Loki get only a glimpse of his room before the boy distracted him once again by pulling him against his chest.  
Loki had a protest at the tip of his tongue but he kept quiet, amazed by the way Thor was looking at him.  
"Can you stay for tonight? Or just till dinner..."  
"My father will be away till tomorrow afternoon." He murmured, smiling a bit at the happiness clear on the boy's face at his answer.  
"We could order pizza. Do you like pizza? Do you have pizza in Alaska?"  
"It's Alaska, not Mars, Thor." He huffed. "Yes, we do have pizza."  
Thor laughed, a bright luminous sound that pulled a smile from Loki too.  
"Yeah, sorry. Then two pizzas. Filled with everything they got."  
Loki grimaced. "Maybe not everything."  
"Everything."  
"No. I'm not eating pineapples and anchovies and artichokes in the same pizza."  
"Yeah... that does sound bad." Thor admitted slowly. "But I've never actually tried, so I have no way to know for sure. Yet."  
Loki opened his mouth to retort but closed it to just try again a moment later.  
"I'm not kissing you on that mouth if you eat that." He warned the boy, frowning at seeing Thor just smile and laugh, and suddenly noticed he had just said out loud how he expected the day to go. He tried to mask his fluster but Thor didn't let him, bending down to kiss him just like the previous night.  
Loki lost any will to complain about pizza and lost himself in the kiss, letting Thor lead it and crush him against his chest, just thinking about feeling good for once in his life.  
They ended up sitting on Thor's bed and kissing like there couldn't have been anything better in life. Loki ran his fingers in the boy's long blonde hair, experimentally tugging a bit a finding out that Thor made the sweetest sounds when he did that. Soon the boy's hands were on his hair too, reciprocating the caresses and the delicate pull, and Loki found himself growing hotter by the minute.  
"I'm hot..." He sighed, almost breathless, when they broke apart.  
"Yes, you are." Thor nodded, moving one hand to caress his neck.  
Loki just rolled his eyes, huffing a smile. "I mean that it's too hot in here." He explained, taking off his sweater, but suddenly he noticed how Thor kept quiet, just looking at him as if he was looking for something. "What?"  
Instead of answering Thor pushed his face against Loki's neck, ignoring how that made the boy flush, and gave him a good sniff just like the previous night.  
"Your smell is even sweeter than yesterday." The boy murmured, stroking his nose against his pale neck. "And you are really hot." He considered.  
If Loki had been ready to retort that he was well aware of it, thank you so much, he stopped at seeing the serious expression with which Thor was looking at him.  
"Loki, when was the last time you went into heat?"  
Loki felt himself die inside for a moment, but the next one he forced a laugh - if a touch nervously. "What- I don't go in heat."  
"I'm pretty sure you're going in heat now." Thor considered. "Have you ever been this close to an alpha before?" He asked to be sure, moving one finger to point between the two of them still quite pressed against each other.  
"I'm- no. I'm an alpha." He repeated, even if he could feel his body heat rise faster and faster, making him wish just to get rid of any clothes.  
"I'm pretty sure you're not." Thor shook his head, informing the other with an almost sweet tone, worried that it could come as a shock to Loki.  
Loki made a sound, suddenly understanding that there was no way to dance around it since his body had decided that being finally mature and that close to an alpha probably meant that he was ready to have sex. He pressed his hands to his face, starting to panic at the thought of his father finding out their lie had been discovered even more than he was doing so for going into an uncontrolled heat inside the bedroom of an alpha he barely knew.  
"Nobody can know."  
"What?"  
"Nobody can know!" He blurted, finally taking away the hands from his face to glare at Thor. "You can't tell anybody. This is my secret, okay? You can't tell. Okay?" He hated how his voice came out in the end, almost pleadingly, but after a moment of surprise Thor simply nodded, looking more serious than Loki had ever seen him.  
"I won't tell." He promised. "But you need to take your suppressants now, before it's late and the heat starts. I mean- I don't think any of us wanted the evening to end with a bonding." He chuckled softly. "I love kissing you and I know I'm pretty charming, but that's probably a touch too much too fast."  
Loki groaned and rolled his eyes but he smiled a bit, shaking his head. "Yes, no, I didn't come here to get impregnated, thank you so much."  
"Glad to be on the same page. Now. You do have your suppressants, right?"  
"No, I don't." Loki murmured staring at the ceiling.  
"Why."  
"Because I'm an alpha." He said slowly, as if Thor was obtuse for not understanding.  
"Sorry to give you the news, but you're not. And you need them."  
Loki groaned, exasperated, and turned to look at him. "I can't go to a pharmacy and just buy some suppressants because they would ask me if they're for me and what my doctor says and I can't tell anybody that-"  
"You do know right that drugstores exist? They don't care who gets in and buys what." Thor interrupted him. "We're in New York, not in a twenty people small town. They won't ask for your name and they won't remember your face. Most suppressants don't even require a prescription." He shrugged.  
It took Loki a good five seconds to know how to respond between the surprise of finding out that and his brain starting to feel fuzzy. "And how do you know?"  
"Dad produces them? His company, at least, among all the other things he sells. But they're on the shelves like muffins and cookies and soda on every shop. You don't need your doctor prescription or to tell anybody who you are or for whom they are. Just take your money and buy them. Unless you want me to go and buy some for you."  
"Would you really do that?" He asked, incredulous.  
"Sure, why not? Friends are there for friends in need. And you don't look like you can get out without suppressants right now without being jumped in the street." He added.  
"But you're an alpha." Loki blurted out, without understanding for a moment why a real alpha would ever want to go in a shop and buy omega suppressants. He was pretty sure anyone else he knew and had known for much longer than the boy in front of him would have laughed and told him to get it done by himself.  
Thor understood after a moment from where that incredulity was coming and he nodded slowly. "As my mom says, any decent alpha should be there for his omega partner. Or friends." He hurried to add, blushing slightly but cracking a smile. "I'll go, okay? You just wait here."  
Loki nodded, staying where he was as he watched Thor get up from the bed and disappear through the door.  
Loki dozed off while Thor was gone, waking up only at the feeling of the mattress dipping under Thor's weight when the boy came back. Thor was watching him with a worried gaze that relaxed slightly only at seeing Loki wake up.  
"You're all flushed." He informed Loki, as if the boy wasn't fully aware of the heat he was enduring or didn't notice the sweat beading his forehead.  
"Thanks, you sure know how to flatter someone." Loki murmured.  
Thor laughed softly and helped him sit up and take the suppressants with a glass of water. Loki knew his body was trying to convince him that he should have had sex, right that second, preferably with the alpha sitting by his side, but he was set on not getting pregnant and not bonding to anyone since he was fully aware his lie wouldn't permit him to have a relationship.  
"Nobody can find out about this."  
"Mm." Thor nodded, taking the glass off his hands to put it on the nightstand.  
He then proceeded to toe off his shoes and lie on the bed, waiting for Loki to do the same, not even hinting to a desire to take off the rest of his clothes. After a moment of uncertainty, Loki mirrored him, still feeling a bit awkward at lying on someone else's bed but feeling more and more sleepy nevertheless.  
Thor rolled on the bed to lie on his side and passing an arm around Loki's midriff, he pulled his friend against his chest, so that he could spoon him from behind.  
"This is-"  
"We're just sleeping, Loki, calm down." Thor yawned, totally prepared to sleep himself.  
Loki kept quiet, trying to think of some retort, but Thor's body was warm and his arm made him feel safer. Moreover there was nothing for him outside that bed, not for miles and miles. He doubted even his father would care if he were to call the man and inform him about his heat. He sighed, surrendering to the fact that he was going to spend his first heat under suppressants in an alpha's bed, but without having any kind of sex.  
"I mean it, you know. You can't tell anybody." He murmured, even if not so sure Thor was still awake.  
"I won't tell a soul." Was the quiet answer from behind his back. "Friends keep secrets for each others. Like brothers. You can think of me as your big brother now."  
Loki considered for the shortest moment that by the sound of his voice Thor seemed on the verge of sleep but then again his words were too much to him and he frowned. "Thor, you just had your tongue down my throat."  
"Special brothers, then." Thor replied after a moment of thought.  
Loki huffed a smile, lightly shaking his head on the pillow. "I'm so happy you're an only child..." He joked.

When he woke up, Thor was still behind his back, but it was clear that several hours had passed and that the boy had moved in the meantime, since not only the lights were off and it was night outside the huge windows, but they were both covered with a blanket.  
Loki closed his eyes once again, simply basking in the warmth of the boy's embrace and how good being that managed to make him feel. He soon dozed off once again, the heat almost forgotten thanks to the pills.  
When Loki blinked awake again, it was barely dawn and Thor had slightly shifted behind him, his arms not pressed so tightly around his belly. Slowly as to not wake him up, Loki tried to move and face Thor, trying to understand what could have been his angle in being so good to him. His father had raised him to believe that nothing was for nothing and if someone did something good for you you always had to wait for them to tell you what was the price. But strangely, a little voice inside him made Loki think that maybe Thor had no angle, maybe he was just kind. Maybe he really enjoyed Loki's company. Certainly he liked to kiss him, maybe even to press him against surfaces or against his own body, but if the boy had sought him out for some sexual satisfaction there was no explaining why he didn't take advantage of his heat. If Thor had even asked Loki to take off his clothes after a couple hours into the heat with no suppressants Loki, would have done it, no question asked, no regrets. But Thor didn’t do that, he had taken care of him as if he was worried of his well being. As if Loki mattered anything to him, even though they had just met the previous night. Thor didn't seem the kind of boy that had troubles finding friends or having fun with omegas and even alphas, nothing like him living in a small town where everybody was afraid of his father. So it didn't make any sense. Somehow he would have understood if their parts had been reversed: Loki was the one who had something to lose at rejecting the guy. He was the one who had something - maybe a friend, definitely someone he could share his troubles with, even more someone he felt good kissing and touching - to lose in all that.  
He took his time studying Thor's profile in the soft light of daybreak, finding him to be almost painfully beautiful. He had to admit that his friend was to become a breathtaking alpha in just a couple years, someone who could have anyone he wanted in the world between his beauty, kindness and money. Loki was fully aware, on the other hand, that he was destined to be alone for the rest of his life, even if he desired with all his heart to be loved. Gently as to not wake him up, Loki started to graze with his fingers the boy's face, tracing his features till he thought he would be able to remember him even though they would probably never see each other again for a very long time.  
Thor started to wake up and still Loki kept quiet, watching those blonde eyelashes flutter before the blue eyes of the other boy stared right at him.  
"Good morning." He croaked, feeling suddenly self conscious as he cleared his voice before trying again.  
But Thor just smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. "Good morning to you, Loki. How did you sleep?"  
"Fairly well." He nodded, a touch to seriously maybe, and flushed a bit when Thor tightened the grip around his back to pull him against his chest. Instead of kissing him again Thor tucked Loki's head under his own chin, gently massaging the nape of his neck.  
"Can you stay a bit more?"  
Loki closed his eyes, inhaling deeply the scent of the alpha, and required a couple seconds to answer him. "Maybe a few hours. I should be back before lunch."  
"You should stay here..."  
"Why is that." He whispered, slowly grabbing the boy's shirt in his hands, almost afraid he would suddenly change his mind and push him away.  
"Well, first of all... you're still in heat, I can smell it. It wouldn't be safe for you outside. But if you have to be back for lunch I'll ask for the car and I'll take you there if that's alright with you."  
Loki nodded in silence, thinking that was quite logical and actually a nice thought on Thor's part. Still, he had hoped for the reason to be a bit more personal.  
"Secondly... I want to spend more time like this with you." Thor admitted, his fingers still massaging Loki's scalp.  
Loki took a deep breath at that and smiled, nodding again but this time moving away enough to be able to press his lips against Thor's.  
"I'll stay a bit more." He said with a smile, hoping Thor would notice his joking tone and understand the "because it's safer here" he added after that wasn't really the reason he wanted to stay.  
From the bright smile Thor gave him Loki was sure that he had understood and gladly let the boy led him back under his chin, where he enjoyed the cuddles and warmth his friend was ready to share with him.

They spent a couple more hours in bed, kissing and just hugging, before Loki finally resigned himself to the necessity of leaving. It was naturally then that Thor had to say something to ruin the whole mood between them. Loki had just sat up when Thor decided to blurt out what he had been thinking since the previous evening.  
"You know, I'm quite proud of being the one who triggered your first heat."  
Loki looked at him, taken aback. "What- do you really think that sounds appropriate?" He asked, a tad shocked.  
Thor grinned at him from below, still sprawled on his own bed, long hair surrounding his head on the pillow like a soft golden crown. He was the picture of a too young prince and Loki for a moment envied him and how he seemed to deal with life so easily.  
"Well, it is nice for a young alpha to find a pretty omega that responds so well to him. I don't think there could be more flattering circumstances for a rendezvous."  
Loki rolled his eyes even as he huffed a smile. "It's more like that you were the first, not that you were the best at something."  
"You don't know I won't be the best at it."  
Loki kept talking as if he hadn't heard him, ignoring his own blush. "Then again you probably shouldn't see too much into it. Don't get yourself all worked up."  
But Thor just grinned more. "I'm already worked up here. And I'd love to see more, actually..." He joked, pulling with no real strength at his sweater.  
Loki batted his hand away, telling himself it was just the heat killing him and he wasn't blushing because of those advances from the boy. "You are well aware that there couldn't be really something between us. I live in Alaska, you're here in New York. It's not practical." He considered in his most dignified tone.  
Thor didn't want to give in though, and he took his hand to brush his lips against Loki's fingers. "I don't care if it's not practical, or if it will take years to see each other. I hope we'll keep in contact. And nothing says one day one or the other we won't move closer to each other."  
Loki didn't say anything at that, listening to his heart thump in his chest, desperately wishing to believe that the boy could have been serious and really willing to wait for him even though fully aware that no one was to know that Loki wasn't an alpha.  
"I have to go..." He murmured, but instead of simply taking away his hand from Thor's he slowly and gently stroked his lips, hoping that the boy would understand.

 

Loki was well aware that there was no chance to have a real relationship with Thor but that didn't stop him from reaching out and text the other. Thor was fast to answer and soon they started talking to each other about everything and anything, at every hour. Before he noticed Loki was spilling everything about himself to Thor and the boy seemed to reciprocate it enthusiastically, often sending pictures of what he was eating or the places he went, what he was doing with his friends and what not.  
Loki tried to tell himself that they were just friends, that they were "brothers", since Thor had started to call him "bro" in their texts, but late at night, when he was alone, Loki couldn't help but let his mind wander around what they could have been if they had just born from someone else, if they hadn't been sons of competing business men. He would have never told Thor, but when he was alone Loki would finally drop any pretense and he would often look at the boy's pictures as he tried to remember exactly how it felt to be in his arms, to kiss him and feel the warmth of his body, of his lips, against him. Loki couldn't stop himself from dreaming about what could have been if he had spent his heat with Thor in that bed where he had just slept with him. One night, before he could stop or manage to persuade himself that it would have made things more awkward, Loki ended up pushing his pants down with his underwear and wrapping one hand around his own cock. He moaned softly, his eyes closing on their own volition as he started to jerk off trying to remember how Thor's hands had felt on his skin, how his lips were hot and pleasurable on his neck and on his lips, how he had wished for the boy to undress him while he was lying under him on the bed.  
He masturbated to the memory of Thor's touches and kisses till he reached the edge with the boy's name on his lips.  
As he was lying in bed after, still trying to catch his breath, Loki was hit by the sudden realization that he had passed a point of no return and there was no way he could ever go back at pretending with himself that he wasn't interested in having more than a friendship with Thor. He desperately ached with desire for the boy, desire to be held, to be loved, to let the boy convince him that there was a chance for them, that Thor wouldn't grow tired of him. But at the same time, he was fully aware that there was no way he could tell so to his friend, there was no way he would ask him to relegate himself to a life beside someone who would forever pretend not to be with him or even interested in a relationship between them. He closed his eyes shut once again and rolled on the bed, pressing his face in the pillow as he let the tears fall for the future that lay in front of him.


	2. Through me along the people that are lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is a quote from Dante's Inferno, "per me si va tra la perduta gente", written on the door to Hell.  
> Another quote, this time inside the chapter itself, is "There are times when the truth is the worst possible thing you can come out with." from "The 13½ Lives of Captain Bluebear" written by Walter Moers.  
> Still written for the CowT of LDF and proofread by Yuppu.

The friendship between Loki and Thor grew strong in the years as they both followed the path their fathers had lain in front of them. Both of them studied to be one day at the head of their companies, even if with different approaches to the role as Loki found himself attracted to the study of the law and Thor to economics. Loki had to move from home to attend university, but his father was watching him carefully and so Loki had no way to choose a faculty closer to Thor. Even if they had hoped against hope that their fathers wouldn't notice that they had not only grown closer in time, but they were also growing restless under their iron grip.  
Thor kept saying that at some point the men would have had to stop taking decisions for them and at that point nothing could stop them from meeting whenever they wanted. Loki thought he was a dreamer, and told him so multiples times, but still everytime Thor would say something like this, it gave him a touch of hope for more happiness in his life, he couldn't avoid smiling at his messages.  
He had tried to bury deep down the feelings he had for the boy - now a young man - but there was no way to lie to himself and he was fully aware that for how much he could try there was no way for him to forget how he had felt in his arms, how those had been the best hours of his life. Still he never told Thor and Thor in time had stopped referencing to their kisses, at least openly.  
Every expectation Loki had for his future had crumbled down when he went back home after his graduation, sitting in his father's office and listening to the man talk about how he was going to start working in their company right away. As a legal. Loki kept quiet as Laufey explained without even looking at him but shuffling around documents he had to sign. The man kept working while telling him that now that he had his degree, they could tell the public that Loki had decided he wasn't cut for staying at the head of the company one day and how they would tell the media that they were looking for someone else instead of him to lead the business in the future. Laufey looked up only when he was done with his speech, finally looking at Loki. At that point, Loki couldn't hold it anymore and blurted out a loud "what!?"  
"Are you telling me- are you telling me that I spent the last seven years of my life, give or take, making sure I could be the man you wanted me to be so I could be the head of your company as you wished me to be- and now you're taking it all away from me!? Why? What did I do to deserve this? I've always done what you said, I was top of my class, I was the perfect son-"  
"You're an omega." Laufey cut him off with a sneer, looking almost sick at him as if he couldn't believe Loki had made him say so out loud. "I told you ages ago that no omega could be the head of our company. I wonder how you could have forgotten that."  
"I didn't!" Loki almost shouted, sitting up just one hair's breadth away from jumping up.  
There are times when the truth is the worst possible thing you can come out with, and that was why hearing his father say what Loki was as if it was something disgusting made him feel as if the man had just stabbed him in the heart. "I backed up the lie that I was an alpha for years, I am fully prepared to keep that up, you know that!"  
"I know and I'm grateful to you for not telling the world that my only son is an omega, but still I need an alpha- a real alpha to take the company after me." He tried to concede, even if he was growing irritated by the minute. "You're obviously going to keep up the lie - we don't want the media on our case - and you'll be working for the company too. Just not as the head."  
Loki kept quiet for a long moment, watching with a mounting white fury the man who had raised him to lie to the world even if that meant ruining his own life and any chance he could ever have at being happy and have a fulfilling relationship, the man who had asked him to lie about himself till being an alpha to the world had become his second skin, till he had even stopped daydreaming about having more than a friendship till the day of his death - surely a lonely one, he imagined - just so he could at least be the head of their company. And now the man had finally showed his true colors and admitted that he had never been even in the equation, he was never meant to do it.  
"All those lies, all those years faking being someone I wasn't - it was all for nothing." He murmured slowly.  
"Not for nothing, to uphold the honour of our name." Laufey raised his chin.  
His eyes bulged out though when Loki burst out laughing.  
"I won't work for you, not in a million years." Loki said with a clipped tone that somehow managed to dissimulate the roar of pride that swelled in his chest as he stood up to his father, watching him for another moment before turning his back at him and walk away from the office and the whole building. He didn't stop to say a word to anyone, he didn't stop for his father's screaming, he didn't stop to take off his badge, and walked straight to his house to start packing all his belongings.

He was throwing all his clothes in his suitcase when suddenly a thought hit him and he paused, mulling over it for a few seconds before grabbing his phone to call Thor.  
"Hei, Loki, bro, how did it go?"  
Thor's happy voice made Loki close his eyes and for the briefest moment he was able to pretend that everything was alright. He cleared his throat, hoping he wasn't just about to ruin the friendship between them calling for a favor he had refused for a long time.  
"Not very well." He admitted. "Is the offer to host me if I were to come to New York still standing?"  
"Yes!" Thor answered without even having to think about it and Loki inhaled deeply, feeling rather better already.  
"Thanks, Thor."  
"You know it's not a problem, brother. I've been nagging you for centuries to come here." He laughed softly. "When are you arriving?"  
"As soon as I'll find a flight." He puffed a smile, resuming the packing of his belongings.  
"Can't wait for you to be here."  
Loki smiled at hearing the happiness clear in the other's voice. "Yeah, me too, brother."

When he arrived at the airport Thor was there, dressed rather badly by Loki's standards and by what he expected the rich heir of an empire to wear.  
"What is that?" He asked with a grimace at the collection of tank top and jeans jacket thrown over a pair of bermuda.  
Thor ignored him completely, enveloping him in a bear hug. "You're here!"  
"Of course I'm here, I told you I was taking this flight..." He wheezed, barely trying to pretend he was unhappy as he finally felt years of pent up stress melt away now that he was back in his oldest friend's arms. He couldn't avoid smiling though, especially when he was able to watch Thor's smile, so open and real and exactly how it was the last time he had seen it in person what seemed to be ages ago.  
"You look like the whole world came crashing down on you." Thor said holding him by his shoulders at arm’s lenght as he looked intently at his face.  
"Always the flatterer." Loki rolled his eyes, this time sincerely annoyed.  
"Worry not, brother. I'll take you to my house so you can leave your suitcase there and then I'll take you sightseeing the city. And we'll go out to drink something. We should celebrate meeting again after all this time."  
"I- I'm not really sure I'm in the mood for celebrating." He had to admit, sighing.  
But Thor was unrelenting and refused to let him go. He barely took one suitcase off his hand and slung his arm around Loki's shoulders, starting for the exit while dragging the other man with him.  
"It's okay, we can drink at my house if you don't want to go out. As soon as you spill it out you'll feel better, just wait."  
"I doubt just talking can make things better." Loki shrugged a bit, half heartedly pretending he wanted Thor to take his arm off of him, but silently enjoying having the effusive boy around. "It's strange to see you now that years are gone since the last time." He admitted when Thor let him in his own car.  
"Yeah, I know what you mean, but mom says better late than never and she's totally right. I'm so hyped!" He added with a huge smile as he drove away from the airport, Loki sitting by his side. "It's gonna be great having you around. How long can you stay before you have to go back?"  
"I'm not going back." Loki murmured, gently squeezing his own knees under his suddenly sweaty hands. It was the first time he said so aloud and it was deeply terrifying. "I'm not going back home anymore. It seems that there is nothing for me there, or at least nothing that I couldn't find anywhere else."  
"What happened?" Thor asked seriously, glancing at him at the first red light.  
"My father had never really wanted to put me in charge of his business, not since he found out about my nature." He grimaced, staring straight in front of him, a bit sick at the fear that Thor would reject him too now that he knew Loki would never have the kind of money Thor was still swimming into. Or that he would say something along the line that he should have expected so.  
But any anxiety melt away when Thor slammed one hand against the wheel, shouting a swear.  
"I knew I didn't like that man! I know he's your father, but- I want to find him and just punch his face." He growled.  
Loki watched him, half surprised and half relieved, and cracked a smile. "I wouldn't actually stop you right now."  
"Are you telling me that I can? Because I'm turning back around and taking the first flight to Alaska and-"  
"I don't need you punching his face." Loki shook his head, putting one hand over Thor's arm. "I only need to know that I- that we're still the same." He admitted.  
"Of course we are..." Thor murmured, turning to look at him with an almost wounded look, as if it hurt him to know that Loki could have even just thought about Thor not wanting him anymore. "You're my little bro, Loki. You know I love you." He murmured, moving one hand to cover Loki's.  
He had no idea how those words managed to make his heart beat harder and faster in his chest. Loki looked at Thor's hand covering his and gently stroked it with his thumb.  
"You have no idea what this means to me." He murmured.  
"I think I do." Was the whisper he heard in answer, but when Loki lifted his gaze Thor was looking at the street straight ahead and for a moment he wasn't even sure if the man had really spoken those words.  
"Again, how long are you staying? Will you come live in New York?"  
"I don't know." He admitted. "I have no place here, or connection, beside you that is. There is a professor of mine that told me to give him a call if I ever wanted to work in England, though. It's far away, but-"  
"Why don't you stay here?" Thor cut him off, turning to look at him again as he softly squeezed Loki's hand under his. "You could stay with me. And I know that maybe you would prefer to find something to do somewhere else in this city but I bet dad would be happy to hire someone who graduated with your grades." He nodded, full of hope that Loki would at least think about it.  
Loki felt a little smile tug at the corner of his lips and after a moment he answered with a slight nod of his head. "I'll think about it. Maybe in a couple days, I better not take more important decisions for now. I'd say it's quite enough for the lasts forty-eight hours." He tried to joke, basking in the sound of Thor's laughter and the chance to hear it finally again in person.

As much as Loki didn't want to admit it out loud, he had wished and dreamed for years that when they would have been able to meet again, Thor would have kissed him like the first night, like the afternoon they had spent in the boy's bed before Loki had to run away. The young man though wasn't really sure that his attentions would have been welcomed after all that time and after all the times Loki had repeatedly said that at least he had their friendship. Thor was well aware that Loki clung so hard to their friendship because there was no way he could have a romantic relationship with anyone while lying about his nature, but still neither of them had hinted at what had happened years before and Thor wasn't sure that Loki wouldn’t have preferred to forget about it entirely and ended up trying to pretend that he was as okay as he was.  
Unbeknownst to him, Loki was silently suffering for how Thor seemed to not be interested in resuming what had admittedly been started a long time ago, even if he was fully aware that it was probably his continuous talk about not needing a relationship to smother any desire his friend could have held for him at that time. Still he tried to suppress it all and push it down as they spent a long afternoon in Thor's new apartment, talking about what had happened in Alaska and how Loki had finally managed to tell his father off after years suffering under his iron grip.  
Thor managed to make him smile saying that he for one was proud of him for standing up for himself. It would have been perfect to Loki if only the man had leaned in to kiss him like he had dreamed of for years in the darkness of his room, but Thor only smiled and squeezed his hand softly.  
After hours like that, instead of feeling relaxed, Loki felt terribly tense when they went to bed, each one in their room since Thor had arranged the guest room for him. He couldn't sleep and so he kept rolling in bed, wrapping himself in the bed sheets as he was filled with the dread that everything he had always dreamed of could be lost forever. In the end, he couldn't resist it anymore and suddenly sat up in bed before almost ripping the sheets away from his body to get out of bed and paddle to Thor's room.  
He hesitated only for a moment on his doorstep, wondering if Thor was awake, but when the man lifted his head from the pillow to look at him he grabbed all his courage and entered the room. Thor didn't seem to mind and even moved his bedsheets to let Loki slide right under them and into his arms.  
For Loki, to be in his arms again, inside his bed, was like being finally able to take a deep breath of air.  
"Thor..." He whispered, closing his eyes as the man’s lips found him and suddenly the man was pulling him tight against his chest, his tongue making his way into Loki's mouth as if they had never stopped doing that.  
Loki clung to his muscular shoulders, keeping his friend against his chest and he intertwined their legs. Thor moaned softly in the kiss, pressing his hardening cock against Loki's thigh. Loki suddenly felt more alive than he had felt for years, able to live the fantasy he had cultivated in the secret of his bed, and hoped that it was only the start of something bigger than a one night stand for relieving each other of some pent up sexual frustration between them.  
"I missed you..." Thor whispered in the darkness, his lips moving mere inches away from Loki's.  
"I missed you too..." Loki answered, his voice low as he carded his fingers in those waved blonde hair that he had come to love.  
Thor kissed him again and slowly they started rocking their hips, rutting against each other in search for some satisfaction. Things had changed since they were teenagers but they had still remained quite the same. Loki in particular, since he had never had a chance to explore sex with others. Thor was well aware of it and he didn't wanted to rush things, but was unable to hold back too much as the man's scent drove him crazy.  
"You always smell so good to me..." He murmured, moving his lips away from his mouth to graze the skin of his neck.  
Loki lifted his chin with a soft sound coming directly from his throat, suddenly everything in him hoping that Thor would bite down, that against everything Loki had always told him - his not being ready or interested in a relationship and even less in bonding - the man would mark him as his for the whole world to see. But Thor limited himself at kissing his neck and that was more than Loki could have asked. Suddenly he had the fastest hard on he had had in years and could clearly feel Thor in the same situation against his leg.  
Without a word, they started undressing each other, taking advantage of any clothe they shed to kiss and caress every inch of naked skin. When Thor managed to throw Loki's underwear over the mattress’s edge, they were finally completely naked and they took a moment to look at each other in the light that came from the window. Thor was way more muscular than Loki himself, his body hairless but for his crotch where there was a little cloud of blonde hair, even if Loki's focus was captured by the hard cock that was currently slowly rutting against his thigh.  
"Fuck..." He murmured after a moment, almost breathless at seeing how the alpha seemed perfect. Just what he had always dreamed of and kind of even better.  
He had always known to be average sized but he had never took the time to think about what people said about some alphas just being "bigger".  
Suddenly he felt a rush of heat hit him and being way older and experienced he knew that it had nothing to do with his real heat but just his omega hormones screaming at him that they should have made sure to have that alpha, possibly then and there.  
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to." Thor's voice brought him back to reality and after a moment Loki shook his head, moving his hand between them to wrap it around Thor's cock and start masturbating him.  
"I want this, Thor." He murmured, his voice more steady than he would have expected.  
Thor moaned and mirrored him, staying up with just one elbow on the bed near Loki's shoulder as he wrapped his free hand around Loki's dick.  
It was Loki's turn to moan and soon Thor's mouth was covering his as they both touched and pleasured each other.

They barely remembered that they shouldn't have had penetrative sex, lost as they were in pleasure.  
"I thought of you a lot during these years..." Thor croaked against his lips when they broke apart.  
Loki only wanted to ask him then why he hadn't just kissed him right as they had met each other again at the airport, but he was afraid to sound too whiny, too clingy, and so he swallowed it all down.  
"Me too, Thor..." He admitted, pressing one hand to his chest to switch their positions.  
Thor went willingly, lying on his back and pulling Loki on top of himself with half a smile.  
"Yeah? And what you thought about?" He asked with a playful tone.  
"Oh, shut up..." Loki chuckled softly, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks as he decided that there was no way he was going to really tell him about his fantasies. He leaned in to kiss the muscular chest of the young man and suddenly he couldn't stop anymore.  
Thor moaned softly and ran his fingers in Loki's long hair, caressing the nape of his neck as Loki kept showering his chest with kisses and little bites, dwelling for a bit on his nipples to study them and Thor's reactions, to see if the alpha was as sensible in that area as he himself was. Thor moaned but it didn't seem to be too earth shattering to him and Loki made a mental note about it before deciding to proceed further below, kissing his abdomen. He paused when confronted with the big hard on that was making little movements on Thor's stomach, already leaking a little drop of precum.  
Loki swallowed down for a moment before throwing a glance at the man he had secretly loved for years. Thor was watching him closely, almost breathless at seeing Loki so close to his erection right as he had dreamed countless times.  
"You don't have to do if you don't want to..." He croaked, forcing himself to keep still.  
But Loki lowered his gaze on his erection and without further ado he leaned in to lick at the salty skin. Thor moaned at that, a deep rough sound that made Loki grow terribly excited. He pressed his thighs against one another, hoping Thor couldn't smell the scent of his lubrication, his body convinced he was finally ready to have sex with an alpha and readying itself for it. He was aroused and proud of being able to make the man moan like that. Taking all his courage in his hands Loki gently took that hard on in his hand and started licking it with more confidence, until he felt ready to wrap his mouth around the head of the cock and try sucking at it.  
He had never done anything of that sort before but he had often dreamed of being able to, during long nights as he was able to think of Thor as he could never admit to anyone in the world of wanting to. He would have liked to appear more experienced that he in fact was, but Thor was well aware that he had never had a partner before. Nonetheless Thor moaned, enjoying his touch and everything he was doing with his mouth, and those sounds went directly to Loki's crotch, making him impossibly hard and wet.  
When he tried to move down his erection and take more of it in his mouth Thor suddenly tightly gripped his hair, lost in pleasure. The grip and the tug made Loki groan around the cock he had in his mouth. He had to let it slip out of his mouth, too breathless to continue, but kept stroking him.  
"You should hear yourself, Thor..." He groaned.  
Thor watched him from under heavy lidded eyes and suddenly the man was tugging at him, leading Loki into covering him with his own body so that he could kiss the younger man on his lips. Loki moaned at feeling the man take that lead in that way and let him do whatever he wanted, not thinking much about the way Thor made him spread his legs so that he would straddle his hips and making their cocks press against each other trapped between their stomachs.  
"I want to hear you." Was Thor's response when they finally broke apart.  
Loki finally noticed their position but he couldn't help himself but trust Thor. The man didn't try to lead him on his cock to penetrate him but merely made him move over his body. Loki found himself moving under his lead as if he had been moving on Thor's cock, riding him, but he was instead merely pressing their cocks together and giving pleasure to both of them that way. He was about to ask Thor why wouldn't he roll and be the one on top when one of the man's hands moved away from his hip, travelling behind him to reach his ass. When Thor squeezed one of his asscheeks Loki couldn't help but groan out loud, too excited for words at feeling the alpha touch him so possessively, almost claiming him even though they were not going to bond.  
"Thor..." He almost whimpered when the hand moved again. He was left breathless when two of the man's fingers found his opening and they started to slowly circle it from the outside. He moaned, his whole body tensing up as he desperately wished for that moment not to end, for Thor to keep touching him that way and give him pleasure as he had always dreamed him to.  
Thor kissed his chin and Loki noticed just then that he had stilled on top of him. He wasn't really sure he could have managed to resume moving as those fingers were dragging away all his focus, but Thor didn't seem to mind it too much.  
Loki was already on the verge of his pleasure when Thor ever so slowly pushed one finger in him. The young man moaned aloud, instinctively spreading his legs more to give the alpha better access, and he threw back his head as Thor started to move the finger in him the same way he would have just loved to bury his cock in him. They had both dreamed of that for long years and suddenly they were able to do something so close to it and yet just not enough. But Loki couldn't complain, he couldn't even form a single thought as Thor managed to make him feel more alive than he had felt in years.  
His breath came out in short puffs as he moaned and absentmindedly rutted against the muscular body under him, until Thor's finger grazed his prostate and suddenly the world went white for him in a wave of pleasure.  
He didn't even notice the scream that was ripped from his throat as he tensed up and shot his cum between the two of them, his back arched in pleasure as Thor kept stimulating that spot with a hoarse moan.

He collapsed on top of the man, breathless, and with his eyes closed. It took him almost half a minute to notice Thor's free hand gently massaging his head as the man kissed his temple softly. But he couldn't help but noticing right after that that Thor still had his finger in him, even if he wasn't moving it. Thor awaited for him to be conscious to start fingering him again, making him moan.  
"Thor..." He whined softly, rutting against his hard body and making the man moan in turn, as he slid his cock against Thor's.  
Thor started pressing against his opening with a second finger and Loki moaned loudly as Thor pushed that inside him as well, starting to fuck him with both of them, driving him crazy at being opened and stretched by those fingers that were quite larger than Loki's own.  
"Tell me I'm the first." Thor whispered, lips pressed against his ear.  
Loki felt a shiver travel through his body and nodded, pressing his face against the other's neck. "Yes, you are..." He murmured, getting wetter by the minute between the stimulation and the possessive tone that accompanied those words.  
"I've never seen someone more beautiful than you..." Thor sighed softly, pressing his fingers against his prostate to make him buckle again and again.  
Loki felt himself blush because of those words but instead of even trying to find an answer he found himself baring his neck for Thor, his whole body aflame with the desire to be marked by the alpha.  
Thor made a soft sound at that sight and he licked his lips, but instead of sinking his teeth in that pale neck he limited himself at kissing Loki again, slipping his fingers out of his body to be able to roll on the bed and bring Loki under him so to be the one moving on top. Loki moaned, a bit frustrated at the loss of his fingers, but instinctively he spread his legs for the man, his eyes fluttering closed as Thor started to move over him, rubbing their cocks against each other. Suddenly, Thor fell on the bed, using one elbow to keep his weight off Loki as he wrapped one hand around both their hard ons and started to furiously pump both of them.  
"Why didn't you kiss me right away?" Loki managed to ask between kisses. He didn't want it to came out as a whine or as if he had been mulling over it for too long but it was difficult to tell if he had managed it with the way Thor was driving him crazy and how long he had in fact mulled over Thor's lack of action during the afternoon.  
Thor pressed his forehead against Loki's with a short sigh. "I wasn't sure you would have welcomed it like you did when we were kids." He admitted.  
Loki rolled his eyes at that answer. "I probably shouldn't have since you're so dense."  
But Thor laughed at that and leaned in to kiss him again on the lips, making him forget even that he had even asked a question in the first place.  
Thor kept jerking them off till he suddenly stilled, tensing up over Loki as he shot his cum across the younger man's torso with a shout, marking him and filling his nostrils with his strong scent. That alone managed to drive Loki over the edge a second time and he moaned loudly as his cum mixed with the alpha's.  
They lay together that night, Thor keeping him in his arms as he had done what seemed to be ages before, slowly stroking his hair till he fell asleep, followed by Loki as soon as he managed to suffocate the little voice that kept reminding him that he couldn't have a romantic relationship if he wasn't ready to tell the world about his biggest lie.

Loki took a week to think about it before following Thor's advice and taking his resumé to Odin's society. As a matter of fact he had been almost sure of it since his second day in New York, when he had had the chance to wake up for the second time in his life in Thor's arms, enough to convince him to stay there instead of looking for fortune on the other side of the ocean.  
Odin received him personally only by Thor's request, not really trusting the son of his opponent to work for them without spying on him on behalf of Laufey. When Loki said that he wanted nothing to do with his father's company Odin arched one eyebrow, still not really believing him.  
In the end, he caved in under Thor's incessant requests and, even if he kept watching Loki with suspicion, he gave him a job in the legal department.  
With a new job and a new big city to live in, it took Loki a couple month to feel stable enough on his own legs to start thinking about finding some place where he could live on his own. It wasn't that he didn't like sharing Thor's apartment, but maybe the problem was that he liked it too much. Thor had apparently learned to cook enough not to starve and make breakfast or light lunches when he wasn't in the mood to order take out or just go eat in a restaurant. Loki had never really needed to learn the skill but he found it pleasurable having Thor around dishing out sausages and eggs in the morning. Or having the man tackle him on the couch because he wanted to cuddle in front of the TV. Or sharing Thor's bed at night, touching the man as he had always wanted to but never admitted out loud to anyone else, not even Thor himself, falling asleep in his arms and basking in those precious firsts seconds at morning when he would forget that that wasn't a life that he could ever have.  
As much as he would have loved nothing more than to spend the rest of his life that way, he was well aware that Thor had reached the age when he was supposed to find a good omega and settle down. When that moment would have arrived there wasn't going to be space for Loki in his life anymore and Loki simply didn't want to have to listen to Thor try to explain him why he had to clear the apartment of his things, why they couldn't kiss anymore. He didn't want Thor to think that maybe Loki did want something more out of his life than a friendship and a fulfilling career. More than anything else he wanted to avoid Thor asking him if he was sure about not wanting to have a relationship with him, since Loki most definitely wanted to, but there was no way he was going to tell the world he had been lying for the past seven years, no way he could deal with that kind of shame.  
It was clear that Thor wasn't happy when Loki finally told him that he had been looking around for a place to live alone, but Loki fed him those lies about wanting to prove to himself that he could manage on his own. In the end, Thor nodded, even if sadly, kissing him on the lips as he tried to convince Loki that he could always go back at living with him if he ever wanted to. Loki would have loved that very much, but he merely nodded and kissed him back, pretending to be absolutely thrilled by the prospective of leaving to go live by himself, having his own personal space.  
Thor finally relented and Loki moved out, even if Thor made him keep the spare key in case he wanted to come back, or go spend the night with him.  
Loki swallowed down a lump in his throat at seeing Thor so willing to keep up what they had just managed to have, and kept the key, promising his friend to keep spending time together.  
He would have loved to spend with Thor as much time as before, but slowly and steadily things started to change: he had to learn how to survive using food, he had to go and do actual grocery shopping, he had to cut into his free time to clean up the space and prevent the place from becoming a real mess.  
In one week, the apartment he was renting seemed inhabited by a spoiled child who kept opening a book and then leaving it where it was, adding another one on top of it and then another one, leaving a jacket on the couch only to find it on the bed the next day and spending ten minutes on the third to find out where exactly he had left it the previous night. Suddenly Loki found out that he had to devolve more time at housekeeping, if he wanted to have a livable space and so the free time in the weekend to spend with Thor was cut short even more. Loki was finding out that living alone as an adult was difficult and suddenly wondered how long it had taken Thor to manage it, once he had moved out of his parents’ house.  
Luckily for him, Thor still seemed decided to spend as much time as possible with Loki and the man would pass by his office every day over lunch break to take him out of there for their free half hours. Some days, that was all the time Loki could manage to spend with him and those were the toughest days as he almost ached for his friend's company, resorting to texting him when they were both home but otherwise occupied. Some days, when he had nothing to do at home - or things that could be postponed without some sort of sentient life form conquering his fridge from the inside out - or just needed to spend time with Thor too much, he would accept his friend's request to have a nice evening by themselves. Sometimes Loki would spend the night at Thor's apartment, kissing him and rutting against his firm body as Thor gave him orgasm after orgasm till they lay breathless and covered in sweat in a tangle of sheets and legs, both happy and satisfied.

One night, a couple weeks after Loki had moved in his own apartment, Thor invited him to tag along as he met with his friends. Loki wasn't really sure, not having ever particularly loved them from what Thor had said about them as they were texting over the years, but in the end he accepted. With the hope that they had grown up since the days of the pranks they had done with Thor when they were all boys.  
Apparently his dislike was reciprocated and after barely half an hour it was clear that the three warriors of New York, like they loved to call themselves, thought him to be a stuck up snob, whereas he thought of them as childish brats in the bodies of adults. Sif wasn't that bad, in comparison, but Loki had the nagging feeling that there had been some sort of fling between her and Thor. Even if Thor had never said anything on the matter. And probably that was what gave Loki more pause on the whole affair, since he had always thought the man was telling him everything and suddenly he was facing the chance that maybe it wasn't like that, that maybe Thor had never confided everything to him, that maybe he wasn't even the person he trusted more than any other. Maybe he wasn't that special to Thor at the end of the day. He vaguely knew he was probably exaggerating with his reaction but he couldn't help but feel a bout of jealousy at the thought of Thor and Sif together, him so beautiful and perfect and her just able to do whatever she wanted because she had managed to make people think highly of her. While he was just living off his name and his family's money and hiding his nature to everyone else, even when that lie was what was jeopardizing his very chance at happiness with the man he loved. At the same time he knew that he had no right to be jealous of the other man as they had never been a couple and would have never gotten in a romantic relationship and it wasn't that unusual for friends not to tell each other every single thing that happened in their lives, even if he had always thought of the two of them to be that kind.  
But Thor knew him better than anyone else in the world and there was no way to hide his dark thoughts to him while they walked home at the end of the night out, shoulders brushing against one another.  
“Are you jealous, Loki?” Thor had half a smile on his lips, an almost hopeful look in his eyes that Loki should have recognized for the playfulness, but suddenly he felt as if Thor had found his weak spot and had tried to stab him right there.  
"Of what? Of you?" He asked, as if the mere thought was simply ridiculous, scoffing at the idea.  
He simply didn't want Thor to see right through his shell and see that yes, he had caught the truth and Loki was sickly jealous of him, of his attentions and the attentions that he had probably given someone else during a time when they had been miles away.  
Thor kept quiet at that answer though, the pain so sharp at having the man he loved treat the mere thought of being jealous of him as the butt of a joke that he felt his face fall as he tried to turn his gaze away from the friend that repeatedly said wasn't interested in a relationship with him even though he kept coming back to him time after time. After all the times Loki had said that there was never going to be anything between the two of them, he knew he should have probably stopped hoping against hope that the way Loki looked for his kisses, for his touch, meant that there was something more under the surface. But he suddenly felt sad and a touch stupid for trying to make his friend say he had been jealous after he had met his good friend Sif.  
Seeing Thor's expression shift that way made Loki feel like shit though. He didn't want to ruin the man's night by making him believe he didn't meant anything to Loki.  
"I'm sorry. Maybe a bit." He murmured, his stomach twisted, and after a moment he grabbed Thor's hand even if they were still out in the street, squeezing it softly. And if the thought of someone who could recognize both of them was still awake in a part of his mind, the street was deserted and it was worth it if only for the relieved smile that that little gesture brought to Thor's lips.


	3. Where the hero fights for what he wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still written for the CowT of LDF and proofread by Yuppu.  
> There are three references inside the text: “Deny my father and refuse my name, or be but sworn your love, marry you in secret and then after a week kill myself in a tomb?” it's a clear reference to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet; “Night City” and “gone, with nothing left of you but some vague memory” are from Neuromancer by William Gibson; “For how could you establish even the most obvious fact when there existed no record outside your own memory?” is from Orwell's 1984.  
> I'm sorry if I hadn't had the time to answer the comments, it's been some busy weeks, but you all make my day with your words and kudos. <3

Thor had known for a long time that the moment when his father would have asked him to take over the company was coming, but still he was taken by surprise when Odin called him to his office and said that the moment had arrived. But the man didn't want Thor to just take a seat in the president's office and at the head of the board, he wanted Thor to show him and the world that he was ready for responsibilities and was able to take care of what he was about to entrust to his hand. Thor was ready to move mountains for him, he wanted to show his father that he could have taken care of the family business like his parents had always expected him to do. He wasn't ready though for what Odin asked him to do to prove it.  
"What do you mean I have to marry?" He asked after a moment of silence, dumbfounded.  
"I mean that I want you to get your act together and settle down. The company needs someone who could act thinking about the future, and what best way to do it than to start thinking about the generation that has to come? You have plenty of admirers in the high circles, I've seen it. I'm sure you can find a good omega and settle down, start a family." The man chuckled. "I must say, your mother is starting to talk about having grandchildren running around the place. I supported you when you decided to get your own apartment, since I wanted you to know how to manage living alone, but I expect you to come back home when you're married. God knows that palace is too big for just me and your mother." He nodded, seemingly unaware of his son's discomfort. "What's the name of that pretty girl you always hang out with? Sif? Why don't you start by taking her over to dinner one of this nights?"  
Thor shook his head, finding his voice once again. "Sif and I are not dating, dad."  
"Well, not yet. It's about time you start asking her out, don't you think? You're... what, thirty six? It's time you find a spouse."  
But Thor snorted, almost laughing at the thought of him and Sif getting married just because his father thought it could have been a good idea. Instead of asking if he even loved her. Suddenly he was hit but another thought and he felt like a ton of lead had been dropped on his stomach, and he had some difficulty swallowing the lump in his throat. He was pretty sure that after all the times he had asked Loki if he was interested in something more and his friend had said that he wasn't he should have dropped it and stopped thinking about a chance for the two of them to be together, but with Odin expecting him to get married if he even wanted the job he had been getting ready for all his life, he tried to find the courage to ask the other man if he was really sure about not wanting him. He wasn't going to marry someone while still in love with his boyfriend, he wasn't going to do something like that to someone, tying them to him in a loveless marriage just for a job.  
"I have to think about it." He croaked, voice suddenly hoarse.  
Odin lift one eyebrow, watching him, but slowly nodded. "We'll talk again tomorrow morning."  
Thor nodded, even if filled with anxiety at the short deadline for his answer.

Loki had the feeling that Thor had something in his mind when they met that night at the man's apartment in Manhattan. Thor shook his head, refusing to elaborate telling him about his father's request because he didn't want Loki to accept his proposal just to help him with the pressure the man was putting on his shoulders. If his best friend was to change his mind and have a serious relationship with him, Thor wanted it to be because Loki loved him, more than a brother, more than a friend, definitely more than a friend with benefits. Still when Loki leaned in to kiss him Thor reached for the warmth and the acceptance he knew he could find in his friend.  
Gently he lead Loki to his room, to the bed they had shared so many times, and there he laid him under himself, covering the lithe form of Loki with his body, holding him tightly in his arms as if worried that he would have ran away if he just had let him go. He took him gently that night, moving slowly and trying to pour all his love in his kisses and touches. Loki made the most beautiful sounds Thor had ever heard in bed and he wasn't going to grow tired of them anytime soon. He would have loved nothing more than to spend by his side the rest of his life.  
They lay together after making love to each other, Loki on his side, his head propped on Thor's shoulder as he slowly ran his fingers over the muscular chest of the man.  
"Have you ever thought about dropping the lie about... well, being an alpha?" Thor asked seemingly out of nowhere.  
Loki raised one eyebrow, looking at him as if he had suddenly gone crazy.  
"I mean, you're an adult now. You could- tell the others that your father made you do it. Since it's true."  
"And throw my family and my name in the mud? What for?" Loki grimaced.  
"Well, you don't have to pretend for the sake of your family business anymore, for one, your father won't go back on his decision now."  
"Thanks, that really doesn't take me to dark thoughts." He snorted, flatly.  
"I'm sorry, I just want to say that now that you don't depend on him to get a job, and you have a place where to live and all that... well, you could think about yourself. Drop the lie, find someone who loves you and maybe get married. Have a family." He murmured, trying not to look as if he wasn't almost hanging on the hope that Loki would say he was right.  
But Loki merely shrugged. "Life as an alpha is easier. And I'm not cut for family life anyway." He nodded, repeating what he had told himself constantly for the past seven years, trying to convince himself then that he could resist and make it with the life his father had chosen from him then, and to hide how much he was actually thinking about how good it would have been to have a relationship with his best friend in that moment. "And anyway I have no intention to tell the world I lied. And what? Deny my father and refuse my name, or be but sworn your love, marry you in secret and then after a week kill myself in a tomb?" He sneered, sitting up in a bout of annoyance. "I'm not the Romeo type, really. I don't care about love." He said with scorn, hiding under that tone so as not to show the man how he actually would have wanted nothing more than marrying him and being the one Thor would have loved for the rest of his life.  
Thor kept quiet, just watching him even if he could almost hear his heart break over those words and how they dripped with venom towards him for even trying to ask him to do something like telling the world the truth for once.  
"You could at least tell someone else aside from me." He just shrugged one shoulder in a desperate attempt, hoping against all hope that Loki would at least tell Odin and manage that way to convince the man to let them have something. Even if only a paper marriage to quell his desire to see his son settled.  
But Loki went mad at that and ripped the bedsheets away from them to get out the bed and stalk away. "I have no intention to tell anyone and you have no right to ask me, who do you think you are?" He said through gritted teeth. "And that's final, I don't want to hear any more of this." He shouted over his shoulder on his way to the bathroom, leaving Thor to quietly feel like his whole world was about to crumble down.

Thor was pretty sure that the conversation he was about to have with his father wouldn't go well but there wasn't much he could do about it. He had barely slept all night, keeping a much calmer Loki in his arms and taking a last chance to run his fingers through the black hair of the man he loved while he mulled over the fact that he wasn't going to marry him. Or Sif, nor anyone else, not while still in love with Loki.  
Which meant he was about to be left without a job. And it meant also that he would probably have to put some distance between himself and Loki if he wanted to manage to forget him and not stay there, bleeding his heart out following every step of someone who would never reciprocate his feelings. He had left his own apartment that morning even before Loki had woken up, kissing one of his temples as he dressed up, taking a chance to slowly walk from home to the office in the still deserted streets. Loki still had his key after all and even if his behaviour would have been perceived as strange, he knew there was no way he could have faced Loki that morning and not shamed himself begging for him to fake a marriage for Odin's sake. That wasn't what he wanted and so he had gritted his teeth and went to work with his mind set.  
"Do you have an answer for me?" Odin asked as he entered his office and found Thor waiting for him in front of the window, spacing out while watching the sight.  
"Yeah. Not sure you are going to like it, though." He admitted.  
"Mm." Odin nodded, waving at one of the chairs.  
But Thor shook his head, staying where he was. "I want to marry an alpha."  
"Don't be ridiculous." Was Odin immediate response.  
"I'm in love with one." Thor admitted.  
Odin got angry at that, his face flushed with rage. "What is this nonsense? Now, listen up, I know that a lot of people thinks marriages between alphas are normal and accepted but I need you to find an omega. I don't care for these feelings that you never mentioned before anyway. You need an omega and a couple children and that's it."  
"We could adopt." Thor huffed, getting angry and frustrated even if he had started the day already aware that their argument would have gone that way.  
"I said no!" Odin shouted, slamming one hand on his desk. "You will marry an omega and be a proper alpha this family - this whole business deserve!"  
"You're a fool if you think I'll marry the first omega I meet just because you said so!" It was Thor's turn to lose his patience and Odin seemed on the verge of smacking him.  
"Pay attention at what you say, boy! I'm not obliged to keep you here!"  
"I know. You don't have to. I'm going away."  
A dense silence fell on the room as his words sunk, but one moment more and Odin started shouting again, words that were meant to hurt but that Thor decided to ignore as he made his way out of the door, walking in front of an alarmed secretary and to his own office to take his personal belongings and leave the building.

It was strange for Loki to wake up in Thor's bed and find the apartment empty. It was strange, but he thought the man had had to go to work earlier than usual, or that he was probably pissed off at him for the previous night's words. He couldn't really blame him, he could recognize that he would have probably bitch slapped anyone who dared talk to him the way he had talked to Thor. Yet when Thor didn't show up for lunch for the first time since Loki had started working in the same company he grew annoyed with the man. He called him but even if the phone rang there was no answer. In the end he went to eat alone, trying to call him again, his annoyance growing along with his worry. It wasn't like him, it was downright strange for Thor to act that way, to avoid him out of spite.  
The afternoon passed slowly and even if Loki kept throwing glances at his cell phone, waiting to see if Thor would call him back or send him a text, he would have denied it, at the same time shrugging it off as a normal behaviour between friends.  
He thought that if Thor wanted to hear from him, he still knew the number. He wasn't that worried that he would have kept calling him again and again. Except that after getting out of work he tried once again and even that time Thor didn't pick up his phone. There was no leaving a voicemail since he knew Thor rarely checked that out. Instead of going back to his own apartment Loki went to Thor's, using his spare key to let himself in. He tried to convince himself that there was no need to call the hospitals and check if he had been admitted in there somewhere. Maybe Thor had just felt a bit sick and had gone back home. Or he had lost his phone. The plan was to see if he was already back home and he case he wasn't just wait for him in there.  
Instead Loki found the apartment deserted, the windows he was sure he had left open now closed, Thor's favorite jacket no more hanging beside the door. A slow tour of the apartment managed to dissipate his anger and renew the worry as he found Thor had cleaned up the fridge from any perishable food as if he expected to not be back for quite some time. The closet in his bedroom was half empty, only his best clothes left as Thor had apparently filled his suitcase with his much preferred casual clothes. Suddenly Loki had to take a deep breath as he was hit by a wave of pure panic. He had no idea what had happened that morning but apparently Thor had gone back home, not a single text to him, no intention to answer his phone - and he could now see that that was absolutely intentional - and apparently his mind set into leaving his own house to go God knew where.  
He tried for his phone once again, growing frustrated at every ring not answered, and almost screamed in frustration when the call was disconnected. He started pacing the house, looking for clues that could tell him where Thor had gone, when he was coming back, if he had gone for some vacation with maybe one of his friends, maybe with Sif. He was one hair's breadth to check on the phone book for Sif's number when he stopped dead in his tracks at finally noticing the little envelope sitting in the middle of the coffee table. Slowly, with the unfounded and yet paralyzing fear to find a suicide note, he picked up the envelope to read the note inside.  
It was addressed at him, a simple "to Loki" in the back of the envelope, as if Thor had known that the only one who could have gone to his house to check on him would be Loki. Inside there were only three words, written in Thor's handwriting, and Loki burst into tears, sitting down heavily on the couch as he reread again and again the "I love you" that Thor had left for him to be found. Years dreaming to hear the boy and then the man actually say those words at him and when his friend had decided to let him know of his feelings it had to be in the most ominous way possible. There was no way for him to know what had made Thor decide to go away, or where he had gone, how long he would stay away, but those words ringed in his head as a goodbye and there was no way for Loki to survive that blow, the knowledge that no amount of missed calls would probably be answered, that Thor probably didn't want to see him ever again and that was the reason he had finally told him those words.  
He had to wait till the tears stopped falling to manage to think clearly, and by that time he was lying on his side on Thor's couch, the little note held tight to his chest. When he managed to start thinking again he reached for the small notebook that Thor kept stashed in a drawer under the TV and from there he managed to fish out Frigga's number, Thor's mother. If there was someone who would probably know where the man was it was her. Or at least he ought to inform the woman of her son's disappearance.  
When Frigga answered to the information with a soft "I know", Loki felt a chill run through his body.  
"Is he alright?" He asked in a pinched voice, too worried to even feel ashamed about it.  
"He resigned today. This morning, to be precise." The woman said with a sigh. "He said he would leave the city for a while, he left no address though."  
Loki covered his mouth with one trembling hand, relieved at knowing he was not gone from the face of Earth without a word to anybody, and yet terrified that it still meant Thor would have never gone back.  
"But he- he said Odin was talking about making him the new president. What changed? Why did he resign?" He knew he was probably asking too much, especially since that was the first time he and the woman had ever talked, but he needed to know.  
The previous week Thor had said that Odin felt he was finally ready and suddenly - much as it had happened to Loki himself - any position at the head of the company had gone up in flames and the man had left the city right as Loki had done months before, leaving his father's company.  
"I don't know more about it..." He could almost hear the woman shake her head, her tone saddened, and he cleared his throat, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat.  
"No, I'm sorry, I hope I didn't bother you-"  
"It's of no consequence, Thor spoke frequently of you, I know you are his good friend, it's only normal for you to be worried about him."  
Loki fell silent at her words, wondering what he could have said about him even if in that moment it didn't seem to matter anymore.  
"Thanks, madam." He murmured, before hanging the phone.  
There was no starting point aside for maybe finding out what exactly had happened that morning. He kept mulling about what Frigga had said, trying to find some clue, till her words about Thor wanting to leave the city made something old and almost forgotten ring in his mind. It had been years, ages ago, but he could remember at least vaguely Thor saying that he was never going to leave New York. Had the boy he knew changed so much during those years or did he lie to his own mother so that they would look for him far from home, ignoring the fact that he was still there?

Loki spent the night in Thor's apartment, hoping he would go back home, but in the morning he had to drag himself to work even if his friend had not come back yet, trying to suppress the fear that he would have never seen him ever again.  
He was prepared to drop his things to his office and then take the lift to the last floor to go demand Odin to look for his own son, to find Thor before the man would get too far.  
Upon arrival though he found the whole building buzzing with gossip about what had happened the previous morning in the president's office between the big man himself and Thor.  
He didn't even have to try hard to find out what had happened to make Thor run away, not since every secretary was telling the story of how they had raised their voices, talking about Thor needing to get his act together, and how Thor had screamed to his father the man was a fool. Odin didn't even want people to say Thor's name and even if he seemed shaken up by what had happened, he was still set on not hiring back his boy, finding instead someone else to take his place in time.  
Hearing that Odin had no intention to find Thor, wherever he might have ended up, made Loki feel sick and tired. He just went through the motions that day, glancing alternatively between the clock and his cell phone, hoping Thor would finally call him back, or text, till he grabbed it and threw it inside a drawer so as to stop looking at it. At the end of the day he walked back home feeling numb and empty. The days seemed to repeat, slowly, the same as the previous ones, filled with the anxiety of having lost his best friend, the fear of being truly alone for the first time in a long while in that city where he knew almost no one else. He felt stuck in a loop, no one to hang out with, no one to talk to on the phone, no one to spend his lunch break with. Every day went by with work, a lonely lunch, more work, a walk to his apartment, an evening alone in his flat where he would watch TV or read a book, surfing the web searching for news on Thor. He thought someone would see him somewhere and report it. The gossip had always followed him and Loki hoped that it would finally turn useful, telling him where to find his best friend. But still no news of him, no one had seen the heir of Odin's empire.  
In time he stopped looking at his phone since the weeks passed with no answer from Thor, and yet the feeling of numbness stayed on him, clouding his mind and making him feel as nothing really mattered much, as if nothing could really make him happy anymore.

Before he knew it, two months had passed since Thor's disappearance and by that point Loki felt like the shadow of the man he was when he had first arrived in New York. The sadness hadn't really passed, but there was anger in him too, anger and jealousy for being left behind, for Thor apparently not needing him to go on with his life.  
Yet he couldn't help but turn his head anytime he heard Thor's name been spoken at the company, hoping news had come of his return. He still missed him like air, even if he himself never spoke of the other man.  
Until one evening a call came from Frigga, catching him by surprise since he had never heard from her since the night he himself had called looking for Thor. He didn't even think the woman had saved his number, let alone remember of his existence.  
When the woman asked him if he could go to her, even though it was late at night, claiming it was urgent and about her son, Loki didn't even think of refusing. He grabbed his coat and went out to reach her house as fast as possible. He would have never admitted to it, but he was still worried about Thor, still holding on to the hope that his friend still loved him, that he would come back to him one day or another. He hoped Thor was back or at least that his family had finally decided to look out for him and find out where he had been hiding all that time.  
"Thank you for coming, I know it's late..."  
Loki had always admired the woman, for what Thor had told him of her while growing up, and for what he seen her do in public, always one step behind Odin and yet unmistakably part of what made him a great man.  
He shook his head, barely holding back the questions he had for her and the need to know if they had found Thor.  
"It seemed urgent, it was no problem, really."  
Frigga was picking at her fingers, clearly agitated, but she nodded.  
"I guess you're wondering why I called you at this hour, but we need to find Thor. Odin didn't want me to search for him, but enough with this nonsense. He passed out this afternoon, my husband, that is, and the doctors are worried that it could be something serious. He should just rest and finally pass his company down to someone else, God knows he has been working for far too long anyway. We need to find Thor and convince him to come back." She fell quiet for a moment, looking at Loki that even if aware now of the gravity of the situation still couldn't understand why she had called him. "I think if there's one person in the world that can talk him into coming back, that's you." She finished.  
Loki scoffed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, madam, but I don't think- he has not contacted me since he left his job. Not a single text. Not even a bit of forewarning. I don't think he would be much interested in what I have to say." He admitted bitterly.  
He tried to smother that little voice inside his head that still reminded him of the little note the man had left him, professing his love to him.  
But the woman sighed and raised one hand to caress his face with the same tender touch she would have used with her son. "Yes, but you always had loved each other, and I'm sure that he still does. He would come back if you asked him to."  
Loki felt sick to his stomach at her words, suddenly filled with dread to be such an open book to everyone, filled with the fear that she was mistaken and he would have found Thor only to discover that he had lost any interest in him.  
With the passing of time he had even started to wonder if the man had ever loved him, at least as a friend, as a brother as he used to call Loki. He had started even to doubt of the caresses they used to share, the kisses they would exchange in the privacy of Thor's apartment, now a thing of the past, relegated to his memory. He wondered how could he establish even the most obvious fact when there existed no record outside his own memory. Had Thor really loved him, given him kisses like the most tender lover, or had Loki just wished it so hard to fabricate the memory of it?  
Noticing the woman was still waiting for his answer, Loki nodded. "I will go talk to him. If we can manage to find him, that is."  
Frigga nodded, a relieved look on her face. "Thanks. I'll contact someone to search him. Even if I'm not sure where to start with it, he could have gone literally anywhere."  
Loki nodded quietly, a thought going round in his head even louder than before. "I think he could still be here in New York." He murmured slowly.  
"Do you think so?"  
"Yes, he often told me how much he loved this city. The people. I don't think he would have just up and left, more like maybe find a hole where to hide under our noses." He considered, telling someone about his thoughts for the first time since Thor's disappearance. He walked to the window, watching the city his friend loved.  
"Then we'll start from here. It will be easier at least if he stayed here."  
Loki didn't want to appear rude to the woman, he actually really liked her, but the thought of things being easier just because Thor could have possibly stayed in New York made him snort softly. "Yes, in this Night City it will be so easy." He murmured sarcastically, watching the dark sky over the buildings and streets yet so awake and full of life. "Gone, with nothing left of you but some vague memory." He murmured, worried about the man he loved, worried that they would never find him and that Thor himself would never decide to come back on his own.  
"We'll pay someone to find him." Frigga's voice managed to shake him off his reverie and Loki stepped away from the window, turning to look at her. "So you can talk him into coming back."  
Loki nodded, but kept quiet. He had no intention to promise the woman he would have taken back the man, if he had found out Thor was actually happier far from the life he had previously led, then he had no intention to ask him to go back at it, even if it meant troubles for his parents, even if it meant for Loki to spend a pitiful life without him.

 

Loki went to the address the private detective had managed to find and give Frigga, hoping that it was really Thor the man the detective had found, praying his friend would still want to see him, talk to him, let alone go back home.  
The more steps he took up the dirty stairs, hearing screams from behind closed doors, the more he wasn't really sure the place could be the right one. He took a deep breath before knocking at the door the detective had pointed out to them, almost hoping it wasn't the correct address, but against all odds it was Thor the one who opened the door.  
Loki wasn't sure if the shock he felt was for knowing his multimillionaire friend had been living all that time in that place, or because he was finally meeting him again. Or maybe the dread that he would shut the door in his face without a second thought.  
But Thor surprised him once again, beaming brightly at him, a smile that Loki had missed so much it hurt him to see it again.  
"Loki!" Thor was sincerely happy to see him and grabbed the smart dressed man by the hand to tug him closer, a moment before he enveloped Loki in a bear hug that took the breath out of the younger man. "I'm so happy to see you..." He murmured, face pressed against his neck.  
Loki couldn't even breathe at that hug, too shaken at being again in his arms, his brain fighting a useless battle between everything he had thought in his loneliest hours and the fact laid clear in front of him that Thor still liked him, that maybe Thor hadn't changed a bit from the man he used to kiss, the one he used to sleep with, the one who had spent years texting him even just to say what he was having for breakfast.  
"Me too..." He murmured, his voice choked up, and he cracked a smile when Thor moved away just enough to look at him.  
"You haven't changed a bit." Thor murmured with a soft smile.  
Loki would have loved to say the same for him, but the truth was that his friend had changed. He had a more ragged up vibe around him, he looked like he had spent months barely scraping up the money to pay for his bills and food, let alone buying new clothes. And it was very much possible since to disappear from his parents’ radar, Thor had had to stop getting his money from the ATM, stop writing checks or even paying with his credit cards.  
"You have changed a lot." He admitted.  
Thor smiled and shook his head with fondness, stepping back to pull him inside. "Get in. I have to go to work but can talk while I change." He chuckled.  
Loki followed him inside, mentally recoiling at the sight of the small rooms, the smell of mildew that seemed to permeate every piece of furniture, and he dared sit down only on the blankets on Thor's bed since they seemed to be freshly washed.  
"This place-" He started, hesitating for a moment before deciding to start back again. "Don't you miss your old apartment?"  
"A bit, sometimes. Well, maybe a lot." Thor admitted, taking off his shirt before rummaging in a drawer, looking for another.  
Loki fell silent, watching the naked back of his friend with an acute longing. He would have paid good money to just be able to touch him once again like he was free to do just months ago.  
"But at least what I have here my father can't say he gave it to me. What I have here is mine and I don't have to stay under his rules." Thor nodded, trying to not look too much at the man sitting on his bed. "Did you come here to ask me about my living conditions?" He asked with a soft smile, throwing a glance at him.  
"No." Loki said shaking his head, still watching him move around the room. "No. Your mother wanted me to convince you to go back. She thought you still- you would still listen to me." He admitted.  
Thor watched him for a moment, standing still on the other side of the bed. He had fought for so long against his own heart, trying to forget Loki, trying to only think about his life and the chance he had to start anew, and there he was, the man he had always loved asking him to go back.  
"I can't go back."  
"Why." Loki murmured, standing up, circling the back to get closer to him. "What happened, Thor- why did you go away?"  
"You know why." He snorted, shaking his head before donning a clean shirt. "Or do you really want to tell me my father didn't go around explaining why I wasn't worth to success him? He had any right to fire me, but I had the right to take the decision on how to live my life."  
Loki would have wanted nothing more than to touch his face, to fix the long hair that escaped the blonde ponytail, to lean in and kiss him, but he denied it to himself and merely nodded again. He had done the same thing in some way when he had decided to leave his father's company, so he couldn't blame Thor for going away to live a life he thought could be better for him. Still he had no idea why the man had had to go far from him.  
"I called you a lot. You never picked up." He murmured instead.  
"I know. I'm sorry." Thor lowered his head, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry. It was hard to do that, but I had to - I had to do it."  
Loki swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded, pretending to understand - and in some way he did, for what there could have been between them? - why Thor had wanted to start a new life without him.  
But Thor surprised him right when Loki had expected him to say they were done talking.  
"Would you like to see where I work now?" He offered with half a smile. "I'm quite good."  
"And you can bring guests?"  
"It's an open club, anyone who pays can enter." He chuckled.  
"Then I'll come." Loki smiled a bit, trying to hold on to the hope that Thor still wanted him around now that he had managed to find him once again. He had to find out what exactly had happened between his friend and his father since one thought everybody knew and the other didn't wanted to talk about it. He had to know if there was a chance of Thor coming back and give some sense to Loki's life too along the way.

"But why this place?" He had to ask when Thor got out of his room, crossing the small kitchen to get to the door.  
"The rent is affordable." Thor just shrugged.  
"And there are no rats." A voice added from their right, making Loki jump.  
He hadn't even noticed a guy sitting in a dark corner of the room, a textbook perched on his knees.  
"Loki, this is Sasha. Sasha, he's my brother, Loki." Thor presented them with a smile, clearly happy to show he had made friends since leaving his previous life, or maybe - Loki thought - to show he knew Loki.  
He was irked anyway at Thor telling around they were brothers.  
"I'm not his brother." He specified, trying to ignore the hurt look Thor had thrown his way, until he understood what had made Thor react that bad at those simple words. "No, I don't mean that-" He huffed. "I'm not saying I'm not your friend anymore, Thor, I'm just telling this guy that we're not blood related!"  
Sasha, who spoke with an east european accent, nodded. "Oh, it's okay, dude. My cousin was adopted too, but his brother, my other cousin, sees him like a brother - real brother - too. You don't have to feel like less of a brother." He tried to reassure Loki, who was just looking at him with his eyes narrowed.  
"Fascinating. But no."  
The door opened right when Loki was about to ask Thor to just lead the way out, and a short girl with big eyeglasses came in with a bike, looking surprised at the guest dressed in a suit that could have probably covered the apartment rent for a good year.  
"And she's my other roommate, Berta. Berta, he's my brother Loki." Thor presented him the new arrived.  
"I'm not his brother." He replied, annoyed, not even caring about being impolite.  
"He's adopted." Sasha filled in for him from the couch.  
At that, Loki stalked out the apartment, pissed off by Thor's persistence in presenting him as his brother, leaving the man to follow him and explain the two that everything was okay.


	4. No more lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am, sorry for the delay. The challenge ended, I'm still taking a deep breath after it, but I'm now back at posting the end of this story since chocoCate is helping me proofreading it.  
> All mistakes are mine though. The whole story has been written for the CowT of LDF.

With Thor smiling brightly at him, talking as if they hadn't been apart for months, as if he hadn't disappeared from Loki's life after leaving a note confessing his love for him, Loki felt more or less like the day he had moved to New York, when he had spent the whole afternoon following him and trying to understand if he had lost what they used to have. Even so, the last time that had happened he had feared the years of distance had made the trick, while this time he wasn't even sure what had ruined everything. What had pushed Thor to get away from him, to stop reaching out to him, to make him want to put an end not only to their affections but to their friendship, not even desiring to keep in touch with him through calls or texts.  
Loki stopped in his track only when he saw the sign above the club Thor was entering. The place already had a big line in front of it and Loki's eyes bulged out when the comprehension of what job Thor had taken after leaving the company dawned upon him.  
"What?" Thor asked.  
Loki looked at his friend, now waiting impatiently - and with a touch of concern - for him to move and follow him inside. Since he worked there, he didn't need to wait in line to enter the club, and neither did Loki as his guest. After a moment of hesitation, he followed Thor inside, feeling immediately glad for the shadows, for nobody would notice the heat rising on his cheeks as his gaze found a couple alphas stripping on the main stage.  
"What do you do here?" He asked, clearing his throat as he tried to regain his composure.  
But Thor merely grinned, nodding at an empty table. "Why don't you sit and drink something? We'll talk after my show. Gotta work to pay the rent." He sighed, shaking his head at the thought of that month's bills.  
Loki did as he had said without asking any more questions, simply attempting to hide how hard he had gotten at the mere thought of Thor stripping down. It had been too long since he had last seen him, and since then he hadn't felt the push to find another lover. At the same time he couldn't avoid looking with displeasure at the many omega's sitting so close to the stage they almost looked ready to jump the strippers. He had no qualms with how people spent their money, unless they were putting it inside Thor's underwear.  
He forgot all his jealousy for a brief moment when a new song started and right there on the stage Thor appeared, dressed as a firefighter. It was the most amazing sight Loki had seen in a long time and he found out he couldn't avoid smiling when Thor directed a big grin right at him all the way through the other side of the club. His body was betraying him though, reacting at the sight of the only man who had ever managed to fill him with desire, to make him want to have sex. He squirmed on his seat, trying to adjust and and to make his erection less blatant by hiding it under the little table.  
As the crowd cheered, Thor started dancing in time with the music he himself had chosen. He wanted Loki to have eyes only for him that evening, even if he very well knew how dangerous that game was after all the times they had ended up in bed together and how long he had tried with little to no success to stop thinking of him that way.  
Still, when he took off his jacket and threw it across the stage, he couldn't help but look for the man seated in the back of the room, excited at seeing he had his full attention.

Loki did not take his eyes off Thor while his thoughts diverted from the strip tease to the chance of paying to have his friend in a champagne room - if the club had one - with him for the rest of the night. He had to talk to him, in private, and he tried to persuade himself that that was the reason behind his desire to take the blonde man away from all those omegas screaming and cheering, waving their money at Thor as if they could buy even the chance to have sex with him. Truth was, however, that Loki was terribly aroused by the sight of Thor - he had always been - but even more so now, as he had never seen him act in such a provocative way. When they were alone Thor was sweet, funny, sometimes serious, but never acted in such a flirtatious way, suggesting sex and what he could do by moving his body against objects or touching himself as he was now on stage. Loki imagined what he would do much later alone with Thor, his eyes fixed on the man performing instead of the people ogling him, he started playing with his fingers in a nervous habit he mostly tried to hide from the world.  
He needed to talk to Thor and make sure he hadn't brought someone else in his life yet to fill for the void Loki had left with their estrangement.  
Suddenly Thor stopped his movements, grinning as he stared at his friend while he grabbed the collar of his shirt, waiting only a moment before ripping the shirt apart.  
Loki gasped softly, holding his breath as he was hit by a new wave of heat, almost trembling with arousal at that sight. He didn't even stop to think about it, believing it was a reaction to be expected, seeing Thor in such a context after months without him and without having sex in any way. The omegas closer to the stage went hysterical at that display of strength and at the sight of the well defined muscles that had been hiding under the white fabric.  
Loki motioned to a waiter, booking Thor for some private time in the champagne room - not even asking for the price of it - without even moving his gaze from the stage. He tried to get himself together by downing his drink, hoping to get his body to calm down without much success as he watched Thor get rid of his yellow pants, taking his good time moving sensually on the stage and letting his clients put money in his underwear.  
Loki pursed his lips feeling a spike of anger and jealousy at that sight, and that almost made that trick, his erection considerably less hard as he watched men and women perfectly able not only to act that openly interested with an alpha like Thor, but also to actively telling him that they were available to him, for whatever he wanted. They would have had no problem whatsoever with starting a relationship with the man he had loved for years, they would have had no problem with giving him the family he wished for, the romantic relationship he deserved, instead of hiding in the dark and inside Thor’s apartment and pretending there was nothing more than a simple friendship between them when in the company of other people.

He finally had a chance to relax and to try and mitigate his excitement while Thor finished collecting the money and went backstage to change. He stood up and made his way through the club, set on waiting for Thor closer to the backstage, so to make sure no one else could try to steal the stripper from him. They had to talk, about what had brought Thor away from the company and his family, about what was happening on the other side of the city, and about the feelings they had for each other.  
When he heard one of Thor's colleagues mention the fact that he had been booked for the rest of the evening by "a handsome guy in a suit" he couldn't help but smirk, pleased at being mistaken as Thor's new sugar daddy, wondering for a moment about how it could have been to have the man do whatever he asked him to do.  
The smile though slipped off his face as he heard Thor burst out laughing.  
"Loki? No, he's not my sugar daddy. He's my best friend."  
Suddenly Loki could feel his stomach churning and a wave of sadness hit him.  
When Thor met with him outside the backstage with a smile directed at him, Loki suppressed a sigh and the deep desire to just throw himself in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to ask Thor to confirm he was still his best friend, but also still in love with him, nothing more than Thor to tell him he hadn't forget about him, that he hadn't found another partner in the meantime. He wanted Thor to tell him that he had missed Loki as much as Loki had missed him.  
"We have to talk." He murmured.  
Thor nodded, not even trying to mask the surprise at hearing his voice so subdued.

He had anticipated Loki trying to reach out to him about what was happening at the company, probably to convince him to go back, or maybe to ask him about his disappearance. Indeed, that was what Loki was expected to tell him and what he had wanted to discuss with him in private, but as soon as the door was locked behind them, Loki couldn't resist anymore. He grabbed Thor by the new shirt he had put on to pull him closer and kiss him just as he had wanted to do all evening.  
It took Thor less than a second to understand what was happening and then he hurried to hold him close, kissing him back as he moved his hands down Loki's back to get a hold on his ass and lift him from the ground.  
Loki made an obscene sound at the pleasure of feeling Thor's enthusiasm match his own. He wrapped his legs around the his sides, moaning as Thor pushed his back roughly against the wall and pressed himself against Loki's front, trapping him and thus pushing the hard-on in his pants against Loki's perineum. Loki moaned again into the kiss, trying to move between him and the wall in order to press his own erection against Thor's stomach, looking for a bit of relief. Thor groaned, pressing more against him. Feeling the man so close and so excited, Loki felt the heat rise in his body. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as Thor started grinding against him.  
Thor broke the kiss to move and mouth his neck and throat, lost in a haze of excitement at being able to have Loki in his arms once again.  
Loki let his head loll, hitting the wall behind him with a soft thud. Any thought of what he had to discuss with him was gone, replaced by the pleasure of being again in the arms of the man he had loved for half his life.  
"Yes, Thor... I want you..."  
"Me too..." Thor murmured, grinding his erection against Loki's balls, opening his mouth to lick a strap of skin from the base of his throat to his ear, but there he stopped completely.  
Loki whimpered softly, lamenting the loss of any movement, and it took him a moment to notice how Thor had gone still and stiff. He was about to ask what was the problem when for the second time in his life he heard Thor sniff his neck. Loki held his breath, suddenly understanding he himself what was the heat he had felt amplifying faster and faster ever since he had been exposed to the man after all those months alone.  
Thor moved away just enough to look at him in the eyes. "I think you're going in heat. You have to go home." He murmured, terribly tempted to go back at grinding against him, listening to his body instead of his brain. He knew he had to let him go and help him get back to his apartment before it was too late, but Loki was finally in his arms and he just didn't want to let go yet.  
At hearing those words Loki felt all the desperation he had tried to suppress in months resurface like a dam had broken. He was on the verge of tears as he caressed Thor's cheeks with both hands.  
The only man he had ever wanted was so close to him, but at the same time ready to let him go for the umpteenth time. He would have paid, if that was possible, only to know that Thor wouldn't have refused him, that the man would have stopped getting away from him.  
"Come with me." He murmured, not even sure his friends would have listened to his request.  
Instead of brushing him off, Thor cracked a smile and pressed their foreheads together.  
"Of course I'll come with you. I would never let you go alone out in the streets while you're in heat.”

They left the club together and, while walking down the road, Loki had the time to calm down and to decide what he really wanted even without the man pressed against his body and his hormones dictating what was best for him.  
Once in Loki's apartment though, the fear of seeing Thor turning his back and leaving now that he was safe won out and Loki didn't wait a second more to speak up, the big speech forgotten once again.  
"I want you."  
Thor stopped, looking surprised, and after a moment he sighed, believing it was only the heat that made him talk like that.  
"You have never wanted me, Loki. You made it quite clear." He murmured, tired with the world and himself for the thrill those words had given him despite all the months he had spent trying to get over him. "That's not the life you want."  
That made Loki almost laugh, his voice bitter as he got closer to Thor, bringing his hands over the man's shoulder to get a grip on him and make sure he wouldn't just turn away from him.  
"Like I care anymore about the life I have. You're the only thing that makes me feel alive. If I can't have you anymore I want at least a last time." He almost growled, carding his fingers in Thor's hair and gripping hard at them. "Make me feel alive once again, Thor."  
Thor kept quiet, slowly stroking Loki’s cheekbone with a thumb, moving his gaze from his lips to his eyes. "Do you really want to have sex while you're in heat? You know it could mean getting bonded to me by the end of it."  
After a moment Loki nodded, cracking a smile, feeling terribly lame and sad. "At least I'll bring a piece of you with me. If I can't have you-"  
Thor frowned, pulling away a bit. "What are you talking about?" He interjected. "I waited years for you to want me, Loki. You talk as if I left you for any other reason." He shrugged, growing more and more irritated by the second. "How can you talk as if I didn't want to stay with you?"  
"What are you talking about?" Loki murmured, brow furrowed, starting to feel like he had missed a step or something. "I have no idea why you went away, Thor. You disappeared without a word."  
"Don't tell me you don't know about what they had asked me to do. Haven't they talked about it since I left? Didn't my mother tell you why I had to go when she asked you to speak to me? I didn't want to pressure you into accepting my proposal, but I tried asking you to be with me. If I recall it correctly, you said you didn't care about love. You said I was ridiculous for even asking if there was any chance of you being in a relationship with me. And you say that I disappeared without saying anything? What was more to say? You made quite clear you were not interested in me."  
Loki kept quiet for a moment, aware that he had to point out that he didn't know what had been between Thor and his family yet, but there was something more pressing that needed to be discussed.  
"I didn't think your proposal was- real. I thought you were just talking. I know what I said, but I always thought you could always see through me! Of course I want you, I've always wanted you!"  
That made Thor take a step back instead of pulling him closer as Loki had hoped for.  
"You've always said no. You have never even hinted about you wanting me, if not for the sex. If you say no, to me that's a no. You can't say I'm the one not understanding you. I've told you more than once that I wanted you, and you always replied that you wanted to get in my bed too, as if that was all I was asking of you. I thought I had been seeing too much in our friendship, I thought I was projecting my feelings onto you the whole time, and when I tried to break the subject to you one last time you told me you had a fulfilling career and that was all you wanted. You said you didn't want a partner, or a family, you scorned me for even asking you. You broke my heart after my father had told me I had to get married and have a family and I tried to gain some time by telling him that I wanted you, not the first omega randomly chosen by him on my behalf. I wanted you, but you made it quite clear that you only wanted a friend with benefits. And that's why I went away. I didn't want to marry just anyone, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life pining after a friend that would have never seen me as more than a funny friend and a warm bed. That's why I'm gone: to forget you."  
Loki was flabbergasted by his words and so he kept quiet for a couple of long seconds after Thor had finished getting it all off his chest. He could finally recognize that losing Thor was really all his fault and now he was ready to leave his life once again, convinced that was what Loki had wanted all along while it was the very opposite. But, Loki reasoned, he had never told him as much. Every time, he had lied, repeatedly. Said stupid things about not being interested in finding love, when he had loved Thor so much it hurt. When Loki still loved him and missed him like a limb. At last he recognized that he had to tell the truth to keep him close, nothing but the truth, which was what Thor had always deserved.  
"I'm an idiot." He admitted slowly, his voice quiet albeit his heart really wasn't. "I have always wanted you, but I knew I couldn't have you. I've wanted to be with you ever since that first night, when we met. At that time I was so inexperienced in the ways of the world and I thought the lie I had had to tell was terrible and would ruin my life, but I had no idea how much. I brought all this pain, on me, on you, on us by being a fucking idiot." He huffed with a crooked smile. "I was so full of pride for my position, and my family name, that I tried to convince myself that I could manage to go on without the man I've always loved. That I could feel alive and right with the world even if I kept you at arm's length, even if I kept scorning you and telling you that I didn't want you. Because I didn't want to go back on my words and admit to everyone else that I had lied when I was a kid, and by doing that I wound up telling an even bigger lie, to you and to myself." He admitted. "I've always thought my interest and love for you was obvious, but you're right and I should have stopped lying just once, just for a minute, at least when you told me you wanted a relationship, and I swear to God my heart grew two size bigger at the dream I had of us being together, being happy with each other. Instead I've treated you like shit, I'll admit so. I made you feel like you were just a warm bed when you have always been so much more than my best friend. You're the only one I've ever wanted to be with, but I've managed to push you away, to convince you that you were nothing to me, and I've spent the worst time of my life these months, not knowing if you still loved me, if you even wanted to ever talk to me ever again." He paused to take a long breath, watching Thor for his reaction.  
Thor was looking at him with wide eyes, surprised at his confession. Loki made a soft sound, feeling close to tears and ashamed of himself for finally admitting everything aloud, finally exposing his mistakes and lies. "Tonight when I saw what job you ended up doing while you were away from me, I felt deathly jealous. Now that I know it was because of me... well, that's even worse. But I still want you, I never stopped wanting you, and I've always wanted to bond and be your partner. I don't care anymore if it means I will have to tell the world about my lie, I only want you. Now please say something before I start panicking." He tried to joke, cracking a smile even if he could clearly feel his eyes burn and the tears ready to fall.

Thor stepped closer, cradling Loki’s face in his hands as he looked at him in the eyes, his heart beating like a drum. "Do you love me?" He breathed.  
"Yes." It was the only thing Loki felt able to say, holding on to the hope that - maybe - Thor’s reaction meant he wouldn't run away.  
Thor took a breath, lips curling upwards just slightly, but still not letting him go, watching him seriously. "Promise me you will never lie to me ever again."  
"I won't." Loki murmured, bringing his hands on Thor's hips. "Thor..."  
The gaze of the man dropped from his eyes to his lips as he got closer to him. "Tell me I'm still the only one who had ever managed to trigger your heat like this." He murmured, pressing his body against him.  
"Obviously you are." Loki gasped, his body aflame at the contact. "You've always been the only one..." He murmured, closing his eyes when Thor passionately crashed their mouths together.  
Thor lifted him in his arms and without breaking the kiss he took the omega to the bedroom. They ended up in the middle of the mattress, still completely dressed, kissing and grinding against each other.  
"Do you really want me to bond us?" Thor asked between kisses, his voice rough with arousal.  
"Yes. Mark me as yours." Loki moaned, throwing back his head to bare his neck for Thor to kiss and bite.  
Thor almost growled at that sight, excited, and started tearing at their clothes, only thinking about the chance to finally have the man he loved completely, the chance to mark him his for the whole world to see.  
At that display of force, Loki's body reacted by growing hotter, his ass ready to take the alpha and give him all the children he wanted to have. Being under Thor was akin to paradise for Loki's mind and body and he wrapped his lean legs around the alpha's hips, arching with a loud moan as Thor slowly pushed himself inside him.  
Thor moaned, looking for his lips, and kissed him gently as he slowly took the omega after months of being apart. He let Loki catch his breath before starting to move, his pushes growing harder and wider.  
"You're so hot around me..." He moaned, slamming his dick deep inside his lover.  
Loki wasn't even able to answer, gripping at his shoulders as if his life depended on it, breathless.  
They had never had sex during Loki's heat, too scared of ruining everything with an unwanted bonding and pregnancy, but now Loki desired both. He wanted Thor to take him with force, to leave bruises on his body and knot inside him, keeping him closer as he filled him with his sperm, making sure Loki was going to carry his child.  
"Oh, you're so good..." He moaned, arching in pleasure as Thor managed to reach that spot inside him that drove him crazy. "I've missed you so much..." He howled as Thor started taking him harder, his movements faster.  
"You won't miss me ever again." The alpha growled, possessive, leaning in to bite hard at his neck, drawing blood with his teeth as Loki arched and tensed around him, shooting his release between their bodies.  
Thor moaned around the bite of flesh, enjoying the tensing of his muscles around his cock, and let Loki go only when he was sure he had established a bond between them. He licked the wound, staying still so that Loki could have the time to catch his breath, and he made sure he hadn't made too much of a mess of his neck before pulling away enough to look Loki in the eyes.  
Loki was completely disheveled under him, a blissful expression on his face and a soft smile on his lips. Thor smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him gently, starting to move inside him once again.  
"You're mine now."  
"I've always been yours..." Loki murmured, carding his fingers in Thor's hair, happy the man hadn't cut them off so he was still able to grip at the strands and tug his face down for another kiss as he had ever done.  
Thor smiled into the kiss, taking him deep at every thrust, till he too stilled, spilling inside him as his knot formed, making sure to lock them together.  
Loki moaned softly at the increasing pressure against his prostate and Thor turned enough to kiss his temple, slowly rocking his hips to stimulate him. Soon Loki was reaching a second orgasm, his body tired but satisfied at having the alpha filling him with his sperm.  
"You'll be a good mommy." Thor whispered against his ear, and Loki nodded with his eyes closed.  
"I'll be a good mommy." He murmured, enjoying the warmth of Thor's embrace and how that made him feel safe and sound for the first time in a long while.

When Loki's heat came to an end, Thor was still reluctant at leaving him in order to go back to work. They had had a lot of time to talk during those days and Thor had explained in all details how and why he had had to leave his family's company. He was still mad at his father for demanding him to contract a marriage of convenience and for insisting on it even more after finding out that he was already in love with someone else. Loki was touched at finding out that Thor had been so in love with him to go ahead and tell his parents about it, even if at that time he hadn’t been named, but he also felt a bit guilty knowing how deeply his harsh words had hurt the man he loved.   
When Loki had told him about his father’s health problems, Thor had immediately forgotten his anger in his worry.  
He didn't want to go back to his father after what they had told each other, moreover so because he didn't expect the man to have changed his opinion regarding his relationship with someone of his choice. Yet he wanted to see him and make sure he wasn't going to die without having a chance to reconcile first.  
When Thor returned to his parents’ house to pay a visit to his father, Odin was in bed, still under the control of numerous machines, looking considerably better than he had a few weeks before.  
Believing Thor’s presence to be a sign of his return to the family, the man smiled with obvious satisfaction.  
"Good. You finally got your act together. Things will be better now."  
Frigga sighed, silently petting her husband's arm while giving a pleading look to her son as if praying him to stay calm. But Thor had no intention to play by their rules anymore, not when he had found and was keeping a job without his father help, not after all he had gone through to have a healthy relationship with Loki, not with the perspective of an incoming child.  
"Nothing changed, father. I'm happy to see that you're not dying anymore, but I have no intention of sugarcoating the truth. I won't marry the first omega you decide would be ok for me. I'm in love with Loki, I’ve always been, and I have no intention to take the company off your hands if the price to pay is denying my feelings and my partner."  
The old man's eyes sent thunders at hearing that and, without even a thought to his precarious health, he sat straight in bed, his face flushed with anger. "How dare you-"  
Thor raised his voice just as he had done during their last discussion, this time only because he had no intention to let the man stop him, and he wanted both his parents to know the truth. "I will marry him, and nothing you're going to say could possibly make me change my mind."  
Odin started shouting, furious, trying to get out of bed.  
“You will not! I’ll die before seeing the son of the man I hate marry my son and get his paws over my company! This is exactly what I was talking about all these years, when you kept saying that you were friends and then when you asked me to hire him. He’s Laufey son and they had been orchestrating this for years now!”  
“Odin-”  
“Not now, Frigga!” The man almost shouted, ignoring his wife’s attempt at making him sit and calm down. “Listen to me, boy. I will never let you back if you marry that man!”  
A couple nurses came in, alerted by the heart rate, and helped Frigga push the man in bed.  
Thor watched the scene for a moment longer, making sure Odin wasn't really having a heart attack, but in the end he turned his back to all that drama and left them alone. He was almost at the front door when his mother's voice stopped him in his track.  
"Thor, wait."  
He turned, his expression softening at the sight of Frigga hurrying behind him.  
"Mom."  
The woman sighed softly and raised one hand to caress his face with tenderness. "There's only one thing that matters to me." She murmured, searching for something in his eyes. "Are you happy?"  
Thor cracked a soft smile and caressed her hand with fondness. His thoughts went to the man waiting for him, to their plans about starting a family and getting married, and he smiled.  
“I think I will be.”

Loki had genuinely expected things to go down the wrong way when Thor had left his flat to go talk to his father, and it was quite clear that he had been right from the expression on Thor’s face when he came through the door still thinking about the old man’s rage at hearing he was in a relationship with Loki.  
Thor hugged him tight and let Loki tug him to the couch.  
“You already knew there was a chance he wouldn’t change his mind.” He commented.  
“Yeah. Still sucks, though.” Thor murmured, his face pressed against Loki’s shoulder. “One would expect his father to be happy about his own son being in a happy relationship.”  
Loki sighed softly, carding his fingers in his lover blonde hair. “He still believes I’m an alpha, if he knew-”  
But Thor moved away to search his gaze. “I have no intention to tell him about your identity just so he can be happy that he’ll have a heir. That’s not how things should work. You and I love each other and we want to be together and have a family. That’s what matters. Not how we should go about having a kid. My being worth of his love shouldn’t be tied to my chances of fathering kids.”  
“Hey, I’m with you.” Loki huffed a smile, secretly happy that Thor was so sure about their relationship already. “Sooner or later I will have to tell people anyway. Pretty sure they would notice a thing or two as I become a little whale swaying around the office.” He joked.  
Thor sighed and closed his eyes, letting Loki calm him down with the slow strokes of his hand on his back.  
“I really won’t be upset if you tell your father, even if I can see why you don’t want to right now. And I get it, trust me. But if it’s what you need to go back to work for him-”  
“What makes you think I want to go back to the company?”  
Loki was left so stunned by the question that he didn’t even manage an answer for a good ten seconds. When Thor started raising one eyebrow in concern though, Loki shook his head.  
“Is- what? I thought you wanted to come back? Why would you-” He stopped abruptly, feeling a pang of jealousy as a thought started to form in his mind. “Wait. You want to keep stripping for money?”  
“Well, the money is good. Quite good, actually. And I know I’m not using any of my studies for that and that’s a shame, bla bla, but I don’t care. Not right now. The money is good, my father is not there, he won’t find out where I am, and he will have the time to take his head out of his ass.” He tried, not really willing to disclose every detail of his conversation with his father. “I’m not that happy either about being away from you, Loki.” He ended with a sigh.  
Loki listened to him, but still wasn't that happy at the thought of Thor going back at the club every night. He could see why the man was hurt, why he wanted to keep his distance from his father, why this was important to him and maybe for them as a couple. Yet, all he could think about was the sight of those omegas waving their money at Thor. His alpha, the man who had marked him and put a child in his belly. Loki pursed his lips remembering clearly how hot Thor was on stage, how flirtatious were his movements. He was going to spend every night surrounded by single omegas that just couldn’t wait to touch him, to pay for a lap dance and get their hands on his body. He hated the thought with every fiber of his being.  
"So I will have to spend all day at the office, starting to tell people that I'm actually an omega- yes, I know that I can wait if I'm not at ease with telling people right off the bat." He nodded before Thor had the chance to speak. "But I'll start showing pretty fast, I'm too lean, and people will start asking questions about how is it possible that I'm pregnant. So, I'll be alone during the day, admitting that I lied to ... pretty much the whole world? For years! The whole time you'll be far away from me. And when I go back home you'll probably be going to work, spending at least half the night in there, getting pawed by excited omegas, and only then you'll finally come home to me?" He asked with a high pitched voice. "So, sorry if I think this is bullshit and that I don't give a single fuck about making a point to that idiot of your father, because I'd rather prefer having my alpha by my side as much as possible."  
Thor kept quiet the whole time, letting him vent, and started nodding half way. "Yeah, it sucks, I'm sorry." He murmured quietly when Loki was done.  
"Yeah. So, please, just tell him I'm an omega. Knowing this, he might be so satisfied with the promise of finally being given a heir that he won’t care that you chose your own partner."  
Thor closed his eyes and let his head drop on his lover's shoulder with a defeated sigh. "I don't think that will make any difference." He admitted, finally acknowledging that there was no way he could get away without giving Loki all the details about the exchange with his father. Keeping them a secret to spare Loki the disappointment had already upset him enough. "I had hoped it would, but when I told him that I was in a relationship with you he almost had a second heart attack. It's not even because he believes you to be an alpha: he hates your guts and doesn't want me back in the company if I still want to marry you."  
Loki kept quiet at that, stunned by his words even if it didn’t come up as a complete surprise: suddenly he was reminded of the not so happy glances Odin had thrown his way ever since he had started working at their company.  
"I told him that I would never leave you anyway, that I want to marry you, but he's stubborn. He thinks our friendship, our feelings, all that we have, are just a sham." He sighed tiredly.  
"What." Loki whispered, his eyes wide open.  
"He thinks you have been working with your father for years, planning on first becoming my friend and then my lover in order to put your hands - and consequently your father's - on our company. He doesn't trust you and so he won't trust me while I'm still with you." He cleared his throat, feeling rather awkward at explaining his father opinions. "So, at this point I don't think knowing that you're an omega would change anything. And I have no intention to leave you and marry someone else just to have my job back. I'm sorry that this means that I'll be leaving you alone most of the day."  
Loki closed his eyes and shook his head, taking his partner's face in his hands. "I didn't- know about this. I'd never thought he would think such things about me, or that he would specifically tell you not to go back if you were to be in a relationship with me."  
"I know, I'm sorry, I just wanted to spare you-"  
"No more sparing me the bad news." Loki almost ordered, pressing their foreheads together. "I won't lie to you, but you have to tell me everything."  
"Yes." Thor promised, hugging him tight.  
They kept quiet for awhile, both deep in their thoughts as they analyzed their situation and what options they had.  
"At least we'll be living together from now on. We will, right?" He added after a moment, vaguely concerned. "And I don't mean in that hole you called house in these last months.  
Thor huffed a smile and brushed his lips against his lover's. "Of course we will be living together. And I'm still the owner of my old apartment. If I don't have to hide from you and the world playing possum I think I could move back in there. Would you like to go live there with me?"  
"Yes." Loki smiled. "Truth be told I have always preferred your place much more than my own flat. It felt a lot more like home here in New York."  
"Then let's go back home." Thor murmured before kissing him again.


	5. Only those who dare may fly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am for the last chapter. I’m really sorry about how late it comes but I wanted to make sure there weren’t terrible mistakes in it. Thanks to Chococate for proofreading this.  
> The title of this chapter comes from “The Story of a Seagull and the Cat Who Taught Her to Fly” by Luis Sepúlveda; later in the chapter there is the quote “You cannot change what you are, only what you do” that comes from “The Golden Compass” by Philip Pullman. This was written for the CowT of LDF, practically the only challenge that pushes me to constantly write for two months. My team lost in the end, but we had a great time and I love each team member, so this story is for them.
> 
> Thanks to all of you who read, left kudos or comments, you’re amazing and I hope you’ll like the end of this journey.

It wasn't easy for Loki knowing his alpha was spending the night working at the strip club. He rolled in bed, tangling himself in the sheets as he kept imagining his mate with lusting omegas pawning his body, trying to rub themselves over his muscled body.  
When he heard Thor come from the front door he just kicked the sheets away and rose from the bed to meet his mate, but stopped short at actually seeing him and being able to smell the scent of other omegas on him.  
Thor smiled brightly at him, but he stopped in his track too as he noticed Loki growling at him.  
"Loki?"  
"You smell." He growled between gritted teeth.  
Thor felt his face fall and he cleared his throat. "I thought you would have preferred if I came home right away after my shift." He shrugged, starting to realize that he should have totally waited and dealt with the smell before leaving the club.  
But he had been so taken with the idea to come home to Loki as soon as possible that he hadn't really thought about what it would feel like to his mate.  
"Well, I don't, if you coming home in such a hurry means I get slapped in the face by the proof that you were out there letting lusting omegas grope at you like old people in a market trying to see if you're ripe enough." He snapped at his mate, feeling his jealousy spike up as Thor didn't even try to deny that he had been touched by his clients. It would have been a blatant lie, given the smell he was carrying along, and Loki wasn't even sure himself if he would have preferred Thor to at least try and steer him away from the argument or if he preferred his mate not to lie at him and admit that he had let others do what was only Loki's right at that point.  
Thor kept silent and sighed deeply, not even trying to argue with him, and just nodded towards the bathroom.  
"I'll take a shower." He murmured.  
Loki gritted his teeth to avoid screaming and shaking his mate, to prevent himself from telling things they both would have regretted later. He clenched his hands as Thor shut the door behind his back, trying to grip at the lasts strands of his rationality to convince himself that throwing heavy objects around or smashing something would have made for a terrible start of a cohabitation.  
Loki was too pissed off for words, angry at Thor for not being home with him during the night, for having to be surrounded by attractive people that clearly wanted to have sex with him and not just oogle at him. He was angry that Thor hadn't found another job and put aside his days as a stripper. He hated the idea that Thor could have had fun with some customer or another while he had been there, pregnant and alone, waiting for him to come back. He knew that it wasn't fair, all that rage pointed against Thor, since they had talked at length and Loki was fairly aware that, with the market job those days, Thor was lucky he had a job at all. They had talked about it again even before Thor had had to go out for his shift that night. And yet Loki couldn't manage to tamper down his anger and jealousy and the desperation that he felt rising from his belly to his throat, threatening to make him cry like a baby.  
He took a deep breath and threw his head back, staring at the ceiling till the burning behind his eyes diminished.  
And yet he was angry at Thor too, because he hadn't stood in front of him and helped him unwind, because he had retreated in the bathroom to do what he thought Loki wanted him to do.  
But, the more the water ran on the other side of the door, the more Loki felt the anger collapse and he only wanted for Thor to envelope him in a bear hug, to make him forget all his worries and jealousy. He wanted his mate to reassure him that he had not strayed from him and that he was still the one Thor wanted by his side, even if Loki was prone to outbursts of emotions and had yelled at him right as he had come back, probably the opposite of what all those horny omegas would promise him.  
Thor made his best to scrub his body, trying to wash away the scent of his customers and the smoke that filled the club, and only when he was sure he wouldn’t smell of any other omega but his mate he decided to exit the bathroom and go look for the man he was in love with. Even if he couldn't help but watch him without the big smile that he had on his face when he had entered the house not even half an hour prior.  
Loki pressed his lips to a thin line, watching him and seeming to be straining to not do something.  
Probably not to yell at him again, Thor thought, sighing deeply as he started imagining the rest of the early morning spent trying to sleep on the couch instead of his own bed.  
"I'm sorry. I'll shower at work tomorrow."  
At the defeat in his tone, Loki was unable to resist anymore, and every desire to pick up the fight once more just dissipated and he was left walking up to his partner in three long steps and just seeking refuge in his arms.  
Thor was startled by the sudden change, but he didn't wait a moment to wrap his arms around the lithe body of his lover, hugging him tight and raining soft kisses on his head.  
They both knew Thor's offer wouldn't solve anything, but there wasn't much they could do with a baby on the way and the pending threat that Odin would soon fire Loki from their company for mingling with his son. They needed the money and, as much as neither of them did like the idea of spending more evenings worrying and feeling guilty, there was nothing they could do other than keeping an eye on job offers and hope that Odin would change his mind about allowing Thor back in the company.  
Beside, for as much as the smell troubled Loki, he also knew that Thor would have never cheated on him, that his feelings and loyalty were sincere.  
If his mate was to come back smelling of soap and anything else at least Loki could try and pretend that everything was just peachy. He was good at pretending. And for once Thor seemed willing to help him do just that.  
Loki sighed as Thor lifted him in his arms and gently carried him to their bed. He snuggled against his chest as soon as they were laying under the bed sheets, but then when Thor hugged him tight, he could not suppress his feelings anymore. Even if he was kind of ashamed by his own reaction, Loki started to silently cry over his mate's shoulder, trying to draw some comfort from the stroke of Thor's fingers in his hair and the comforting murmur of Thor in his ear, words of love and hope that soon everything would turn for the better.

It took Odin four months to get the all-clear and to be able to go back to work. Both his doctors and his wife had tried to convince him that he needed to hand down the company to his son - or someone else - since the stress was too strenuous for a man his age and he badly needed to rest. Odin though was still mad at his son and didn’t want to hear any of that, set on showing Thor that, unless he stopped with the nonsense and cut off his relationship with Laufey's son, he had no place in his company.  
Although he would have loved nothing more than to kick Loki out his company too, he had no legal basis to fire him, and would risk a lawsuit for doing so just for spite since he had started dating his son. That however didn't stop him from throwing death stares at him during the administrative meeting, even as he listened to the reports of the head departments on what had happened while he was gone.  
Loki did his best to ignore him, focusing on the reports in front of him, at least until he was hit by a sudden wave of nausea. He excused himself and almost ran out the room to reach the toilets. Most of his colleagues had become accustomed with this scenario, but many shot glances at Odin. Most of them didn't even knew their colleague was pregnant, not to mention in a relationship with Thor, and yet, considering the way Odin had been looking at him, they kind of feared his reaction at the man leaving abruptly in the middle of the meeting.  
Loki had been doing his best to cover his pregnancy up to that point, telling the news to his acquaintances gradually, hoping they didn't take it too badly. Thor had helped him a lot in that, being by his side as Loki started with Thor's friends, giving them the heads up not only on him being an omega but about the incoming child and wedding. They had been shocked at first, but then congratulations had followed - together with a couple death threats would he ever hurt Thor. After them, Loki had started reaching out to his office colleagues. They all had been surprised, but while some of them had been worried about his position in the company, between a president that clearly didn't like him and his son, others had reacted with anger at being lied to. They were mostly butthurt for him temporarily appropriating their prerogatives, Loki realized, and shrugged them off.  
He hadn't told many people yet though, and so, when after the meeting Odin started asking questions to his secretary, curious and suspicious about the reason behind Loki's sickness, she honestly knew nothing of it.

He had to look inside his employees profiles to see if there was something noteworthy about Loki. He grimaced at seeing that the lawyer had changed his address to Thor's apartment, for everybody to know that they were living together. Nothing resulted from the files, so, to cast some light on the matter of Loki’s sickness, he had to call in the head of the legal department. The man stood rather awkwardly in front of him, not really willing to divulge personal informations, even with his boss. He didn't want to tell the president that his subordinate was in fact pregnant, or omega, but when Odin asked if Loki leaving the office due to illness had already happened he was too quick to negate for someone who shouldn't even had known that something was on. Odin stared at the man, feeling close to the heart of the matter.  
"Is he pregnant?" He asked point-blank, and the silence that followed was answer enough. He gritted his teeth, raising from his chair, and punched the desk.  
"Sir, your heart-"  
Odin ignored the concerned man and screamed in rage, grabbing instinctively the phone to call Thor before slamming it down again. He had no intention to call his son and talk to him, and yet he was now stuck in the knowledge that apparently he was about to have a grandchild. Thor not only hadn't got over Loki, he had lied about him being an alpha - or Loki had, for years - and got him pregnant. Suddenly, the thought that maybe not even Thor had known that Loki was in fact an omega hit him.  
What if his son had been tricked into having sex with Loki for the guy to trap him into fathering his son and thus gaining legally access to their wealth and company?  
Had that been his - and his father's - intent all those years?  
And who was to say that it was in fact Thor's son and not someone else's, and that Loki was now convincing his son to take care of through pretense?  
Lost in thought, he started to notice the shadows cover his sight too late and he didn't collapse on the ground only thanks to the lawyer's reflexes, since he had approached Odin out of concern.

Frigga was out of her mind with worry and anger when Odin came back to his senses in a hospital bed.  
As soon as she saw he had awakened, Frigga was beside his bed, taking one of his hands in hers, angry tears falling down her cheeks.  
"That's it. You're not going back to work. Now you will calm down, sort things out and hand over your company to your son, whom you trained his whole life for this specific purpose." She almost ordered him.  
"He lied..." He croaked.  
"I don't care. He wouldn't have had to lie to you if you had just listened to him! How long had I told you that our boy was in love with his best friend? How long have I told you that the idea to marry him off for the sake of the company was just stupid and heartless?" She huffed, full of frustration, concern and anger. "You sent our boy away with your stubbornness, not once but twice, and I'm done with this. He's coming here, I called him because the doctors weren't even sure you would wake up this time-"  
"Frigga-"  
"No, now you let me finish. He's coming here and I want you to just settle things with him once and for all. He's our baby, and he's grown up now, and you can't keep making all decisions for him. What if you died and your last argument was the last memory he had of you?"  
"Loki lied to us- omega and pregnant." Odin tried to tell her, not really ready for her words.  
Frigga kept quiet for a moment and raised one eyebrow. "Well, I had a bit of a suspicion. Yet, he was so young when his nature was announced... don't you see that if the poor boy had told all those years that he was something he's not, maybe it wasn't his lie after all. Or maybe that's just how he feels. Who are you to judge without listening to him in the first place?"

Frigga had just stopped talking when she raised her head to see Thor standing on the doorway. Their son looked mildly annoyed, having probably eavesdropped their argument, and concerned, as his eyes swept through the range of machinery that made sure his father would stay alive. Slowly he stepped inside the room, closing the door behind his back. He hadn't brought Loki with him because, knowing his father and expecting another argument, he felt no need for his pregnant lover to face harsh and unjustified words if it could have been helped. He trusted Loki with the truth, but he felt the need to save him from this.  
"Are we sure we want to have this conversation right now? It's pretty clear to me that he shouldn't be stressed out. You know, with the three doctors outside repeating it like a mantra." He put his hands in the pockets of his jeans, trying to appear less threatening to his father.  
"I need him to stop worry about his company, you and Loki." Frigga sighed deeply. "You can't keep working there, you just can't. It's time to hand it out to Thor like you always said you would do." She murmured, caressing her husband's hair.  
Odin watched her for a moment before turning his gaze on his son.  
"He's an omega." He murmured, stopping to drink a sip of water from the cup his wife was handing out to him.  
"I know." Thor simply answered.  
Odin grimaced. "You lied to me. You lied to us."  
"I didn't- I told you I was in love with an alpha because at that time Loki was adamant he didn't wanted anyone to know. It wasn't my truth to tell."  
"He's pregnant. Are you the father of the child?" Odin asked as if he hadn't even heard his words.  
"I am."  
Frigga threw a glance at him, mildly surprised but clearly happy, a stark contrast to the thunderous expression on Odin's face.  
"The only person- the only person I've ever told you not to trust, and you go and start a relationship with him. You impregnate him. You talk about marriage."  
Frigga tried to warn him, gripping his arm, but Odin didn't even turn.  
"I love him, I've always loved him. This has nothing to do with you or your company."  
"Like hell it doesn't!" He snapped, taking a breath when suddenly the monitor started beeping, alarmed by the sudden spike of his beating.  
Thor pressed his lips, worried, and shook his head. "We shouldn't be doing this right now. I don't want you to have another heart attack and honestly, the more we talk the more it's clear to me that you have no intention to change your mind or accept my feelings for Loki. Or to acknowledge that he's not interested in robbing you of your company." He was about to tell his goodbyes, probably definitely, when Frigga stepped in, throwing her hands in the air.  
"Now stop, both of you. Thor is right." She added, turning to look at Odin. "He's right telling you that you have no business deciding whom he should love. He's right saying that it's clear that you don't want to change your mind and also that it would be for the best not to have this argument. But you two have to, because Odin here can't just keep working. And you can't keep playing stripper downtown. Your place is here with your family." She told her son, fed up with both their choices. "And, Odin, I won't let you and your stubbornness tear apart this family anymore. Loki is expecting a child, Thor's child. Our grandchild. I want to have a chance to be in their lives, to show them how much they can be still loved. If you're so worried about your company, why didn't you just propose a prenuptial agreement, instead of sending him off?" She huffed.  
The two men kept quiet, exchanging a glance after her words sinked in their minds.  
"It could be arranged." Odin decided after a couple seconds more of silence. "So I'll make sure that he won't try to rob you of your share with a divorce."  
Thor pressed his lips, quite annoyed by his father’s presumption that Loki couldn't possibly be sincerely in love with him. "I'll propose it to him. So you'll see that he doesn't care about your business."  
Odin scoffed but nodded, resting against his pillows. "If he does sign it, I will arrange for the company to pass in your hands."  
Thor nodded vaguely, ready to get out of there, even if he stopped in front of the door to shot a glance to his parents.  
"Just so you know, we weren't looking for your approval. We're adults and in love. We'll get married and we'll start a family, whether you like it or not."

Loki almost burst out laughing at seeing the pre-nup Odin had wanted his lawyers to prepare for him to sign: it declared that, in case of divorce, he wouldn't ask for half Thor's fortune. He picked up the pen and signed it off with certainty after only one single read. He was happy with Thor and trusted the man to hell and back not to hurt him. Not only he was happy at the thought of spending the rest of his life by his side, but he had also surprised himself with how good it felt to finally be open with his identity, to carry a child and tell people that yes, he was pregnant and happy.  
Loki shook his head at seeing Odin still regarding him with suspect even as he handed back the signed form, and he smiled at his fiancé, that had kept one arm around his back the entire time, keeping him close and making him feel safe.  
Seeing Loki sign up had managed to appease Odin too, since he was now sure that, whether he wanted it or not, Loki - or his father for him - would not be able to ask for more money or the company's shares. He still wasn't sure about Loki and his alleged feelings for his son, still expecting him to annul the marriage when he finally realize that there was no gain for him, but the man's affections were apparently unquestionable for Frigga.  
The woman had accepted her son in law with open arms and a warm smile. She had approached the couple and, after hugging her son, she had invited Loki in a tender hug that had shook him to the core with surprise.  
"I knew you loved him." She admitted while letting him go, her affectionate smile accompanying the caress she gave to his face. "I've only seen the two of you together a few times, and often from far away, but it's always been clear to me, no matter what the two of you said about being friends and nothing more, no matter how many lies you had to tell the world. Your eyes always spoke the truth every time you looked at my son."  
Loki had cracked a smile, slightly embarrassed regardless how much he was grateful to her for her consideration, and he had let her hug him once again.  
Since then, Thor had been able to go back to his previous job, working only during the day and having a chance to stand by his omega's side. He smothered him with attention and affection, always by his side when Loki needed him, whether it was to go to the doctors or to take care of his raging hormones.  
For his part, Loki could barely stand few hours without feeling the need for attentions from his alpha. The more the belly showed the more he wanted to be in his mate arms, to make sure the man still wanted him, still loved him, to make sure Thor would touch his belly and start to accept their child.  
Thor was the perfect partner to him, always thoughtful and full of love for him and the still unborn child. Thor would spend hours caressing Loki’s body, making sure he would carry his scent to let everybody know that he was his and his only. He would be particularly delicate around his big belly, peppering it with soft kisses and speaking loving words to their child.  
When it came to making love, things slowly but steadily changed, like their positions or the strength of Thor's thrusts in his body, now way slower and more gentle so to make sure he wouldn't hurt the baby growing in his womb by manhandling his lover's body.

Thor quickly understood that, whereas Loki's nipples had always been a particular sensitive spot of him - any time Thor had touched them, Loki had moaned and buckled, looking for more - now that he was pregnant and his breasts had swollen up, they were even more so and Thor would unashamedly use this notion for his own advantage any time they managed to be alone.  
It was what he intended to do the night of their wedding after the celebrations.  
Thor took Loki to the suit they had booked keeping him in his arms as if he didn’t weigh more than a feather, and if being now married to the man of his life wasn't enough for Loki to get excited, that display of strength always managed to make a number to his hormones. He was quick to help his husband lock the door and went back at encircling his shoulders with his arms as Thor took him to the huge bed, not letting him go even when Thor had gently laid him in the middle of the mattress.  
Thor didn't mind in the slightest, same as he wasn't interested into getting away from his newlywed. He leaned in to kiss Loki once again and slowly started to help him out of the dress he had wore for the ceremony, a light thing that didn't press on the wrong spots all day long and that Thor had wanted to take off him since they had seen each other that morning.  
His hands moved by their own accord to Loki's breasts and the man sighed softly at the feeling of soft skin under his palms as he slowly fondled them.  
Loki moaned softly, closing his eyes at the touch. He spread his legs more to make room for Thor, arching his back in pleasure when his thumbs started rubbing his nipples.  
It took Thor no time at all to have Loki's nipples hard under his fingers and he watched in fascination as his husband abandoned himself completely in his hands. When he leaned in and closed his mouth around a nipple, a choked moan escaped Loki's lips, the omega erection hardening fast as Thor lavished the nipple with his tongue. He was relentless in his attentions and soon he stopped rubbing the other nipple with his thumb only to squeeze it between his fingers.  
It would have hurt many others, made them stop, but even so it still only managed to take the breath out of Loki and soon the man was a breathless and writhing mess under his lover, already on the edge of his orgasm.  
Thor moved away from him abruptly, leaving Loki with no contact at all between the two of them. It almost rip a cry of frustration from Loki's lips, but the omega quieted down at seeing his alpha standing up only to undress as quickly as possible. They stared at each other with clear lust and the more skin Thor uncovered the more Loki could feel his body getting ready to take in him.  
Thor smirked at noticing how Loki spread his legs more instinctively, impatient to have him, and soon he crawled back on the bad and between his legs, caressing Loki's thighs as he leaned in to kiss him on the lips.  
By then Loki was so wet that he could feel the sheets getting soaked under his hips.  
"Thor..." He murmured impatiently, placing his hands on the alpha's shoulders. "I want you."  
Thor had no problem at slowly penetrating him, Loki's body so used at their lovemaking that there hadn’t been the need for preparation already for a while. He groaned softly, moving his hands to caress and grip at his lover's thighs, spreading them more as he started moving slowly inside him. As he kneeled between Loki's legs as to make sure to not to be a burden on his pregnant lover, he admired the man he had loved since they were nothing more than teenagers, the first and only omega whose heat he had ever managed to trigger by merely staying close to and kissing. After years of crushing hard on him and hoping for the best, for something better in their future, for the chance to be together, they were finally bonded and married, their child growing inside his now husband. He smiled down at the man to whom he was making love to, slowly pushing inside him as deep as he knew he could go without hurting him and the baby.  
Loki moaned loudly, closing his eyes for a moment, and tensed around him before stretching his arms out for Thor to bend down. Thor complied, paying attention to his big belly, and smiled softly as Loki reached for the ribbon that he had used all day long to keep his hair well combed.  
Loki hummed in satisfaction at pulling the string and letting down Thor's long hair, watching as they framed his face giving his beloved the look of a prince from some ancient painting.  
He gripped at some of the strands to make Thor bend down more and reach his lips.  
Thor kept himself mostly upright by moving one hand from his thigh to the mattress close to Loki's head, minding the belly as he poured all his love in their kiss.  
They lost himself in their lovemaking that night, happy to be finally together as they had wished for their whole lives.

They had wished to keep the wedding a small celebration, attended mostly by Thor's family and their friends, a couple colleagues. They hadn't wanted something big or grandiose, caring only about being finally married and for the day to not be too hard on the very pregnant Loki. They had also been very much aware that the media were bound to find out, considering that in the months preceding the marriage Thor had seemed to be absent from any gossip.  
Someone maybe had talked, or maybe they had just been unlucky, but one day as they went outside their house they found a reporter waiting for them. The woman took several pictures of Loki and his belly, asking questions about the relationship between him and Thor, the wedding and the child that Loki was clearly carrying after years of posing as an alpha.  
They had gone for the classic "no comment", but what had started with just one reporter had grown to gigantic dimensions as soon as the pictures made their way to the tabloids and the most disparate speculations were made. Everybody seemed to have an opinion on the matter and an idea of what could have been going on under the couple proper facade.  
The head of the public relationships department of the company was having a field day at micromanaging Thor and his spouse appearances in public and what they were supposed to tell the journalists.  
Odin wasn't that happy about the scandal, but he had expected it since finding out about that Loki was pregnant. Frigga reached out to them to let them know that they could stay at their place and be with the family till the situation was under control. She also had a few words about people harassing an omega so far into the pregnancy.  
Loki was a bit annoyed with the whole media circus, but in the end the only thing that managed to shake him up was the call he received from his own father.

"Let me understand this. I haven't heard from you in years... and now, you come back from the depths of hell to tell me that I should just tell the world that I lied of my own initiative about being an alpha and that you were simply unable to stop me from doing so without causing a public scandal." Loki summarised the conversation he had just had with his father after years of him acting either like he had never had a son in the first place and like Loki was dead to him anyway.  
"As I told you already I will obviously pay you for it." Laufey clicked his tongue, impatient.  
"Obviously." He repeated coldly.  
"Let's be clear here, it's not my fault if you went and got yourself knocked up by that blonde schmuck. Both of you should have thought things through before plunging deep into this little paternity circus."  
Loki pressed his lips, silently caressing his belly. "Right."  
"Now, I could probably call for a press conference and tell them myself that it's been all your idea, but my public relationship expert says it could probably sounds bad coming from me. So I'll just preparare everything and you'll go in front of them and tell what we have agreed upon."  
"You have decided what should I say, you're not asking for my opinion on this."  
"What could you possibly have to say that won't make matters worse?" Laufey huffed.  
"Well, for once that I'm very much in love with my alpha. And happy to be carrying his child, since it's the truth for once."  
"Yes, that's good. You're an omega, it's only natural for you to be grateful to have an alpha taking care of you." He conceded, unaware of how much his words were pissing Loki off.  
"Sure. Yeah. I'll talk to my husband then. Let me know when you're making this press conference. Obviously I can't go and make it in Alaska, I'm not supposed to board a plane so far into pregnancy."  
"Not a problem, I'll arrange it in New York. I'll call you later for more informations."  
Laufey closed the call without even a greeting and Loki felt almost dirty having spoken to him.

Thor wasn't exactly happy to know his spouse was being pressured into appearing in front of the cameras, and even less so about Laufey's pretences on what Loki should tell only to cover his father's ass.  
But as much as he wasn't happy about it, he accompanied Loki nonetheless, trusting him when the omega said he had all covered, to just trust him.  
Thor sent more than one dirty glance at Laufey while the old businessman addressed the crowd that filled the conference room. He was tense even as he watched Loki take his father's place in front of the microphones.  
Laufey had expected Loki to follow his instructions and walk away richer than before, but instead Loki started with a "I will tell you a story" that left him confused and concerned.  
"It's the story of a little boy growing mostly alone, with a father drilling into him that he would take his place at the head of the family company one day. The kid believed that the company was everything, that it mattered more than the family itself, and certainly more than what he wanted to do with his life. Many said he was rich and so he had to be happy. When he was fifteen, the kid was grown enough for his father to finally tell the world what they had both known all along: that one day the boy was to take his place as the alpha leading their business. There was a little bump in the road, though, as the boy was found to be omega just a week before the press conference."  
Some journalists raised their hands, impatient to ask questions, but they didn't stop him and Loki was grateful for that as he went on.  
"The father screamed and pulled his hair, mad at his son for something he wasn't even responsible for. He insulted the boy, saying that was the worst that could have happened to them both, making him feel ashamed of what he was. That night the man told the boy that no one but them were to know the truth. He would have presented his son as the next alpha of the family and the boy would have smiled for the cameras, pretending to be something he wasn't for the whole world to see. It didn’t matter if that meant that the boy would have to keep everyone at bay growing up, to always be self aware of how his actions could be perceived, of what actions he couldn't do in the off-chance they revealed the truth, if he had to always be aware that there was no happy ending for him, aside for his career. For how are you supposed to have a romantic relationship one day if you can't even approach someone without lying? But the boy was fifteen and he thought he could do it, and honestly he couldn't see another path to follow except for the one is father had traced for him. Despite all this, the boy made a friend. For him and only him, he broke the rule and told him the truth of his nature, and that helped him greatly during the following years. For once, someone didn't make him feel wrong and growing up that friendship was what showed to the young man how the lie had fucked up his life pretty bad. But it was too late to tell the truth and he still had to be the next alpha of the company. That was the cause of his continuing farce, for the company kept mattering more than the truth and clearly more than what the young man desired from life." He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath as his gaze swept over the silent crowd, all microphones extended towards him, everyone's attention focused on him. "Until one day the father told him that the plans had changed, that he wasn't to be the head of the company - obviously - since he wasn't really an alpha. His father would have to find someone else to take his place, someone outside the family, someone who could lead the company. It suddenly didn't matter anymore that it was the "family" company, or that he had told and nurtured his son to take his place for all his life. Or the fact that the boy had ruined his own life up to that point only for that position. For the first time, the young man thought about what he wanted and based his decision on that alone. He left home to move far away, reaching out to his only friend. Truth was that he had been in love with his friend for so many years it was almost pathetic. But still he felt like couldn't tell the truth to everybody because he was ashamed of having lied all that time and afraid of the backlash of those who would not see that it wasn't his fault, that he was the victim in all that. He kept silent, even when the lie kept steadily ruining his life. Until he told the truth for the first time in his life and he found out that life gets sometimes a lot easier when you stop lying. And so the man was finally happy by his best friend's side, getting married and carrying their child. But the father wasn't done with him, and he unilaterally decided that the man had to lie one more time in name of a family that had never loved nor cared for him, and had requested him to keep silent on the abuse he had received at home. The father wanted the man to appear in front of the media one more time and say that it was his own decision to lie to the world, to present himself as something he wasn't, in exchange of money." He took a deep breath, staring straight ahead and ignoring the sputtering man a couple steps behind his back. "It took me more than ten years to reach a point where I can see that what happened wasn't normal, that it wasn't how the others families act with their children, that it's not okay to ask someone to lie on your behalf, to put the burden of an adult on the shoulders of a kid. I'm not an alpha, I've never been one. I lied to you all once because I thought that was the only choice I had. Now I'm not a kid anymore, or a young boy, and I know that being an omega it's not the worst thing a person can be. That's being a terrible parent. I only hope I'm not going to be one, I hope I won't follow on my father's steps. I'm happy to be married to my best friend, I'm happy to be pregnant and to be an omega. I want my children to grow up knowing that I will be proud of them, no matter how they are. You cannot change what you are, only what you do, and I decided to tell the truth from now on." He nodded, leaning back from the microphones.  
After a second of silence everyone started talking and shouting, their voices overlapping as they tried to ask Laufey what he had to tell for himself, if that was really what had happened, how could he have acted that way to his own son.  
Loki took a step back, looking relaxed and not a bit frazzled by exposing himself to them all. He turned, catching the eye of his furious father.  
Softly, sure that no one but him could hear under all that crazy noise, Loki talked to him one last time.  
"Good luck with that, bitch." He murmured before walking towards his husband, letting the man lead him outside, leaving everything behind.

 

The scandal left Laufey's company on the verge of a financial meltdown as more and more clients pulled away their business, preferring not to tie their names to a man who was, at that moment, the face of what was wrong in the nation. If all the parties involved hadn’t been rich and famous people, the tabloid would have probably forgot about the matter in a few weeks. The storm however seemed to protract for months, following even the negotiations, where Thor tried to take over Laufey's business and incorporate it into his father's company so as to salvage at least the thousands jobs at stake.  
Loki was following the news at home, too far into pregnancy to work still, and he was ready when one afternoon Thor entered their apartment with a huge smile on his handsome face.  
"I did it. He signed off his company to us." Thor announced, proud of himself for the job well done.  
Loki smiled at him and handed him a duffel bag. "Amazing. And my waters broke." He announced in turn.  
Thor stood still for a long second, his brain trying to compute what his husband had just told him. Loki could pinpoint the exact moment when he finally understood, because suddenly the alpha's eyes went wide and his gaze dropped to Loki's stomach.  
"What! We're going to the hospital!"  
"Yeah, I know. I called a cab, you already have my bag in your hands." He sighed, rubbing his back as he grabbed his jacket, hoping that his organization would prevent Thor from panicking. 

On the tv the news were showing Laufey not commenting to any question he was asked as he left the city, just after having signed off his company to his long rival's family business. The tv in the hospital room was on mute though, as nobody paid any attention to it.  
Both fathers were sitting on the large bed, Thor with an arm slung over the pillows behind Loki's shoulders, protective though he knew there was no need. He couldn't help it, not while Loki was still tired after giving birth to their son and the baby was in his arms, intent in drinking his first milk. They were watching him with amazement, marveling at how tiny and perfect he looked, both more happy than words could describe.


End file.
